09.25.06
Lanuage in the Kitchen
Just trying to say what you want to say in the kitchen can be a tricky thing. For starters there is the obvious language barriers that exist in most kitchens, especially if you don’t speak Spanish. But in my restaurant, it is especially difficult as I am the only native English speaker. Everyone can speak English in varying degrees, but it is quite amazing that my English skills are the… umm… goodest?
 The Tower of Babel. Now all we need to do is hang a sign for our restaurant on the outside. |
Three Spanish speakers, one German, three Koreans and one Arabic. Quite the linguistic melting pot I have to navigate there. So with everyone trying to find a common language that commands, directions and warnings can be given in, a lot gets lost in translation. I of course speak English, but I also speak a little Italian, and, well, that is about as useful as a catnip toy at a pet cemetery. In short, I need to expand my language skills if I am going to pursue a kitchen career. I guess I have always known this, but working in a kitchen has cemented this fact in my head. When I am all done with culinary school, I am going to have to take Spanish lessons. Fortunately, I already know how to warn everyone in Spanish that I am coming through with a hot pan/pot. And really, what else do I need to say to people?
There is another kitchen language issue that I really only recognized today. I was telling someone there was extra sliced ham in the back. So I said, “There is more sliced ham in the back.” The reply that came back was, “I don’t know, go check and see if there is more.”
Say what?
I had made a statement of fact, but the other person had treated it as if I were asking a question. That struck me as odd. But later in the day, I noticed that I asked someone, “This goulash meat is done?”. Without the inflection at the end of the sentence, I had just made a statement again. Only I meant it as a question this time…
“That’s odd,” I thought to myself, “I never do that. Do I?”
But then I realized that not only do I do this frequently, so does everybody else. And then it dawned on me - asking questions is seen as a form of weakness in the kitchen. Everyone should know how to cook, and how to prepare the various dishes that are there - but if you have to ask, “Is this done?” then it appears as if you don’t know what you are doing. But if you ask it like a statement, and someone gives you crap, you can possibly back out of your ignorance with a “Yeah, I know that was done, that’s what I just said!”
It’s like being on a 3rd ground playground all over again.
And speaking of being on playgrounds, I have actually been shocked how “clean” the language has been in the kitchen so far. I was expecting a little more “blue humor” (of which there is some) in the kitchen, but it has been surprisingly tame compared to what I used to talk about while playing rounds of “Asshole” in back in college. Once again, this could have something to do with the language barrier. We may all just have different ways of telling these jokes…
Oh crap, I just realized that they all may have been making fun of me all this time, and I haven’t noticed. Oh great, now I’m totally self-conscious.
Preview of tomorrow’s conversation:
My boss: “Good morning Matt!”
Me: “And just what does THAT mean?…”
Oh yeah, that’ll be ugly.
 “You will stir that sauce right now! Stir it! Stir it now! Ummm, pretty please?…” |
The one last part of kitchen language that I want to touch on, since I have had lots of time to observe this so far, is that the tone of voice people use can really affect you if you are not ready for it. If you are one of those people who take everything everyone tells you seriously, or your feelings are easily hurt when people tell you to do something right away, then the kitchen is not the place for you. There is no “pretty please with sugar on top”, or “if you have a moment” in the professional kitchen. There is “right now”, and “too late”. And chefs don’t like “too late”. Not at all.
So as one more element in my long list of warnings to people before they take the plunge I did, allow me to add this. There is no gentle stroking of your ego going on here people. If you consider yourself at all “fragile”, stay the hell out of the kitchen - you will be broken.
Fortunately I am not the fragile type, I am just a healthy mix of blissfully unobservant and painfully ignorant. As for delaing with the language issues I deal with every day, I figure that all I need to do now is to learn is how to say, “I already stirred that sauce!” in Korean, Spanish, Arabic and German, and I think I will be good to go!
Stumble it!
Boutros said,
September 26, 2006 at 7:00 am
As one of the people who used to play Asshole with you in college, I am slightly disappointed that you haven’t picked up any awesome foreign dirty phrases to teach me. Tony Bourdain sure set me up for disappointment with his book. Perhaps you need to move to a raunchier kitchen.
Matt said,
September 26, 2006 at 5:03 pm
Yeah, Tony’s book, while awesome, is not indicative of all kitchens, and he is the first to admit that in his book. Alas, I am working in a relatively “clean” kitchen, but who knows what the future will bring?…