01.30.07
Why I Hate Rachael Ray
Another series of questions that people often ask me are, “What do you think of TV Chefs?” or “Do you watch Top Chef/Hell’s Kitchen/Iron Chef?” or “What do you think of Emeril/Alton Brown/Bobby Flay/etc.?” In short, people seem to think I am an expert on what is happening on TV since I am now a professional chef. And you know what? To some degree, they are right.
Warning: what follows is a very long blog post that is full of unproductive criticism of TV shows and/or celebrities that you might like. If you don’t think you’ll like it, please don’t bother reading, and for God’s sake, don’t write me telling me how much you love them and their shows. I promise you that the only thing I care about less than who is going to win Top Chef, is what you think of the show. But seeing as how this is my blog, I will therefore proceed.
First things first. I do NOT watch Top Chef or Hell’s Kitchen, or any of that other garbage. I don’t want to see amateur chefs compete against each other in a reality show format where they spend more time bitching about each other than actually cooking. If I want to see a bunch of whiny losers who can barely cook complain about each other, I would go back to culinary school.
So please, friends, stop asking me about these shows. I don’t like them, I don’t watch them, and nothing is going to make me start.
 |
Then there is Food Network. Food Network as a whole has a very serious problem, and that problem is that they have only 5 or 6 celebrity chefs who star in all of their shows, The result is an annoying mélange of exclusively Euro-centric cuisine presented by unfathomably irritating hosts. In short, there are three types of show on Food Network:
- 1. How to cook food from France or Italy
2. A competition of people making very pretty food to be subsequently (and inexplicably) carried through an obstacle course
3. Americans getting fat at large food festivals
But before you think this rant is all sour grapes, first let me tell you about a few shows/chefs on there that I find tolerable.
 Yes, he’s a dork, but so am I… |
1. Alton Brown. It is hard not to like the guy. Sure, his show Good Eats can be a little corny (ok, a LOT corny) at times, but his presentation of food science is fascinating and really informative. I have also met him, and I have to admit that he really is a good guy. I don’t have much against him except to say that sometimes he covers a topic that just does not warrant 30 minutes of television. Please, an entire show on barley? Give me a break!
2. Road Tasted. This is the show hosted by Bobbie and Jamie, Paula Deen’s sons. I am sure they will not be happy to know what I think of their mom (more on her later), but I find them to be down to earth and relatively fun and interesting to watch. But I can see myself tiring of them once they get 15 more shows. It is only a matter of time…
 Takeshi Kaga made “weird” into an art form. |
3. Iron Chef - both of them. The old Japanese one was fantastic camp. The incredibly odd “chairman”, the dodgy translations of Japanese to English, the actress on every episode who was so completely ditzy it was not to be believed - this was so bad, it was great. Sure, maybe I had not heard of half the secret ingredients they were using, but it was fabulous to watch: both from the aspect of appreciating their tremendous culinary skills, and from my love of old Godzilla movies. The American version is good because Alton Brown is there hosting, and many of the challengers are people I have heard of and like to see in action. Again, I can really appreciate what they are doing, and admire the creations unfolding in front of me. I don’t watch it every time it is on, and I was REALLY tired of the 10,000 replays of the episode with Giada De Laurentiis and Rachael Ray on there, but at least I can actually watch it for the full hour, which is much more time than I am usually able to spend on that channel.
So with those niceties out of the way, allow me to go through the major disasters that Food Network otherwise sees fit to air:
 I don’t get it Bobby, do you think you’re a baseball player, or a bad ass? I’ll give you a hint: “C: None of the Above.” |
1. Bobby Flay. Wow, has there ever been such a dick on the face of the Earth? Yes, he can cook. He is a fabulous plate designer as well - perhaps one of the best in America. But have you ever heard of the concept of humility you prick? When he went on Iron Chef Japan and won, he stood up on his cutting board (an insult in Japan) and waved the American flag. What a cock. And his latest clusterfuck of a show - Throwdown - has this line in the intro:
Bobby: “…I may even lose…”
Oh God, say it ain’t so Bobby! Even you?! Lose?!? I thought that was impossible!
Of course you might, you arrogant douche bag. For the record, the only two times I have seen the end of this show: he lost. That made me swimmingly happy. The only thing that would have made me happier would be to see him lose, and then get run over by a bus.
 He has a cooking show based exclusively around the premise of selling a spice rub he invented. Apparently he is also re-inventing the word “shameless”. |
2. Emeril. How did this guy ever become a celebrity? Yes, again, he can cook. I used to watch him back when he was a guest on Julia Child’s show. He was funny, interesting and very informative. But this live show that he hosts now? I mean can anybody out there say “phoning in a performance”? Jesus, I can cook better than this guy does in front of that crowd. I can also do it without saying “Kick it up a notch!” even once. If I had paid to be in that audience, I would ask for my money back - even if I got to sample the food. Seriously, that crowd of mouth-breathers who sit there and watch this idiot for an hour while clapping like wind-up chimpanzees whenever he says “Bam!” are the target demographic for Food Network: they wouldn’t know good cooking if it bit them on the ass. So Emeril is free to jerk off in front of them for an hour and pretend that he is actually preparing haute cuisine.
And for the record, his spice blend, “Essence of Emeril” is labeled with total accuracy. I can rub it onto any meat, and the result tastes just like Emeril has sweated all over it. Horrific.
 I would have the same deer-in-the-headlights expression too if I ever saw the T-crane that pulled off this face-lift. |
3. Paula Deen. Everybody has that one old annoying relative they can’t wait to send to an old folk’s home. For some reason Food Network thinks that taking one and filming them cook fatty food makes good sense to add to their rotation. The food she makes is outrageously terrible. This is cooking for people that think suspending banana slices in Jell-O is a fancy dessert. And if she were any more annoying, she would have to run for Congress. Her latest show - Paula’s Party - is like Emeril’s live show, only without the charisma. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, she will actually sit in the laps of some of the guests while feeding them her “food”. It is as embarrassing to watch as it is repulsive. This lady needs to be put into a nice, quiet home, where there are no kitchens and no cameras, and then forgotten about forever.
 Pull Giada! Pull! I know those sweater cows are heavy, but you can straighten up! |
4. Giada De Laurentiis. Cooking with cleavage. There are two great things about this cooking bobble-head doll, and she wears a low-cut neckline in every show to make sure we don’t forget what they are. She seems to be incapable of describing any food as something other than “crunchy”. Seriously, here is the Everyday Italian Drinking Game I made up:
- 1. Drink every time Giada says any of the following:
- “Crunch” or “Crunchy”
- “Crisp” or “Crispy”
- “Light”
- “Fluffy”
 Isn’t this the same jackass who hosts “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”? |
5. Shows about Americans gaining mass en masse. Bad puns aside, this series of shows includes all the road trip shows to see 10,000 Texans stuff themselves with chili, or 3,000 North Carolinians argue about the best barbeque recipe, or to watch 5,000 West Virginians scrape opossums off the road. They are all the same, and all unwatchable.
Or perhaps they think we want to know about the secret life of Tootsie Rolls? Here’s the secret: they are full of sugar and are good for removing loose teeth. No need for 30 minutes on the subject.
Or maybe we want to see a chef stick a microphone in the face of nitwits “on the street” and ask them what they think about cupcakes. “Oh I like them,” comes the reply. Wow. Thank God we had that crack roving reporter to bring us that late-breaking news. These shows are like the sawdust found in cheap hot dogs - pure filler.
 I have seen the face of evil, and verily it is she… |
But all of this I have mentioned above is pure programming gold compared to the dark-haired purveyor of all things evil in the culinary world: Rachael Ray.
Where do I begin? Ah yes, the NON-STOP YELLING! She yells ALL THE TIME when she is talking. Even when she is trying to host an interview on her horrific talk show, she can’t talk at anything below 120 decibels. (For comparison, a chainsaw is 110dB.) Add to this the fact that her voice is as gravelly as Lucille Ball’s was after smoking a carton of Lucky Strikes, and the result is a sound that I can not only hear from three rooms away in the house when my wife is flipping through channels, but also one that makes me hiss in fear and anger like my cats whenever I hear it.
-EVOO - Extra Virgin Olive Oil. That’s what she actually calls it: “E-V-O-O, Extra Virgin Olive Oil”. Note, I did NOT say she calls it “E-V-O-O.” If she just stopped there, it would be merely stupid. But she goes all the way to the level of “taking the short bus to school” by using the acronym, and then spelling out what it means for us right after. WHY?!? What is the point of using an acronym if you are then going to say what it means right after it? Pick one or the other! I don’t go around saying, “Yeah, I need some money from the ATM - automatic teller machine, but I can’t remember my PIN - personal identification number, so I guess I can’t check on the balance of my CD - certificate of deposit.” I would sound like a retard, and thus, I guess be eligible for my own cooking show.
-The non-stop whoring. No, I am not implying she sells her body in a sexual way, but she sure as hell sells herself in every other way imaginable. Cheap knives, bad food, pathetically under-tested cookbooks, crappy place settings - there is NOTHING she won’t attach her ugly mug to. I can’t even eat a Nabisco cracker now without having to look at her. Her face is on EVERY SIDE of a box of Saltines! And she would be on every side of this box of Triscuits I am holding right now if it weren’t for those pesky “nutrition facts” on one of the sides… How inconsiderate of the government - don’t they know that they are depriving us of the opportunity to see even more images of Rachael’s face? And on the back is a recipe from Rachael. Just for me. Yes, it is a Tuna and White Bean Salad. No Triscuits in it - just something to spread on them. And what is one of the ingredients? “1 Tablespoon EVOO - extra virgin olive oil” No, I am not kidding, it REALLY says that on the box. Nabisco, I am gearing up for a boycott of your crackers…
 And you probably thought I was kidding. Shame on you! |
-Her shows. $40 a Day, 30 Minute Meals and so many more. Doesn’t Food Network realize there are many more talented people out there who could do these shows, and do them so much better? Alas, Rachael brings in the ratings for some reason, so she is everywhere. And now she has a talk show on Fox. Her shameless self-promotion makes Oprah (the one who set the original standard for personal whoring, and a producer of this train wreck) look introverted by comparison. The crowd appears to be the same crowd from Emeril’s show carted over to clap like circus seals for her. But for some reason, they only bring over the women. It’s just as well since any guy in that audience either has been (or must instantly be) castrated. We have to keep the gene pool clean people!
 Not only is this not sexy, it looks like she could eat that whole turkey in one bite. |
- Her giant freaking mouth. It is unreal. It literally stretches from one ear to the other. She looks like she could eat a banana sideways and still have room for pint of strawberries. Throw some yogurt in there, and she could make herself a smoothie without a mixer. If she ever wanted to dress up as a clown, it would take two tubes of lipstick to ring that giant wall of teeth she has. This is a not attractive woman, but for some reason she apparently thinks she is, and the people at FHM Magazine thought so too - enough so to have her pose for some photos. If I could sandblast any images from my brain, it would be these. They are truly nasty, and if any of them ever went on a box of Triscuits, I think I would forever be incapable of eating anything that had an even remotely crunchy texture (which would be a real blow to what I could eat from Giada’s show…)
For more quality loathing of Ms. Ray, be sure to check out the Rachael Ray Sucks Community. There are usually 3 or 4 posts A DAY with new reasons to hate her. I have it bookmarked, and couldn’t agree with them more. Hell, I just learned there that Colavita Olive Oil is next in line for her whoring. Looks like I know what brand I won’t be buying…
So there you have it - my personal vendetta against food shows, Food Network and all the celebrity “chefs” they have on there. There is a real need for some quality TV in this country, and I will address that issue as soon as I am done watching the latest “shocking paternity test results” on Maury.
Send hate mail to: Chef Matt
Stumble it!
Swan said,
January 30, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Good lordy! Just when I was completely bummed out at my horrible day, I read your blog and realized, hey, at least I’m not Rachel Ray.
Thanks for brightening my day!
Serra said,
January 31, 2007 at 3:46 am
Rachael Ray is the Anti-Christ.
Brilynn said,
January 31, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Ha! That’s it, just let it all out. Feel better now?
Boutros said,
January 31, 2007 at 1:18 pm
I still love Iron Chef. Allez Cuisine!
I get frissons of joy whenever I hear nasty rumors in the tabloids about Rachael Ray’s marriage going south because her hubby is a sex pervert. Schadefreude. LOVE IT.
Matt said,
January 31, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Swan - glad I could help. I am hoping my humor - even if pointed at the shortcomings of others - can brighten people’s days!
Serra - I may not go so far as to call Rachael that, but when the end of days is upon us, I am sure she will have something to do with it…
Brilynn - yes, thank you very much. I have been wanting to write this post for a long time now, and actually was working on it for some time - as you can tell by all the photos and links. It is good to have it done, and I feel satiated. For now.
Boutros - Yes, Iron Chef is cool, and seeing Rachael Ray suffer brings me much joy simply because she makes me suffer so much.
Charlie said,
January 31, 2007 at 3:40 pm
I agree: Alton Brown is awesome. Corny, dorky, whatever… but there is actual *information* in his show. Useful information, mostly.
Ms. Ray and Giada are clearly eye candy that the Food Network needs to bring in viewers. (Yes, some people find these women attractive.) Remember, it is a TV channel, not culinary school, so they have to balance food technique with fluff.
As for Paula Deen, she satisfies on neither account. Her accent, her food, and her looks make me want to bludgeon her with a copy of “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” (either volume).
Which reminds me — why doesn’t F.N. buy the rights to Julia Child’s shows? Or would that just remind everyone that Bobby Flay would have gotten his ass kicked in a Throwdown (culinary or otherwise) with even an aged Ms. Child.
Oh, and nice West Virginia put down in there. Don’t think I didn’t notice… greaseball.
mori said,
January 31, 2007 at 3:52 pm
hey … wasn’t that jackass from Extreme Makeover in the movie “Mistic Pizza”?
he annoyes me on several levels.. and so does the bobble head …and EVOO .
kerri said,
January 31, 2007 at 4:01 pm
thank you for the link to the rachel ray sux community! my coworkers and i continually discuss how much we HATE her (and we work in an art gallery, not even food related here!). they were very pleased that i passed along this link
also, my boyfriend and i went to a bobbie flay restaurant here in NYC and it was honestly the WORST “high-quality” dining experience we have had. everything had this weird sweet tasting slime covering it (i get the whole southern cooking thing, but what the hell?). needless to say, we were terribly disappointed (and broke) afterward.
Chris said,
January 31, 2007 at 8:18 pm
Best. Post. Ever.
Chris said,
January 31, 2007 at 10:28 pm
Your likes:
-Alton Brown: Yep! I agree. Love Good Eats. Partially because of his “science” approach and partially because of his dry humor.
-Road Tasted: Eh…..so so. I tend to get bored watching them and feel like this is a 30 minute infomercial for mail ordered eats.
-Iron Chef: Nah, unless a chef I really like is on and the secret ingredient isn’t squid or kudzo.
Your dislikes:
-Bobby Flay: Exactly, but it is fun to watch Throwdown because he has lost everyone I have seen.
-Emeril: Liked him when it was just the Essence of Emeril. Emeril Live is food porn’s equivalent of a glory hole. (you just wish you came up with that reference don’t you
-Paula Deen: Don’t care for the live show but like her taped stuff.
-Giada: Her voice and smile grates my every last nerve. Don’t really care about her cleavage, it’s not worth it to sit through that show:)
-Rachel: She would have been ok if they had kept her limited to one show a week. But she is a “one trick” pony who has been on the street corner far too long.
No hate mail her but I am sure the Rachel Ranks will leave some anonymous comments with intelligent, witty remarks like “You SUCK”. Don’t let those intellectuals get to you, LOL.
Dear ol' Dad said,
February 1, 2007 at 1:31 am
So, Matthew, which one of your relatives can’t you wait to send off to a nursing home?
Just asking…
Matt said,
February 1, 2007 at 1:34 am
Charlie - FN used to show some of the old Julia Child shows, as well as the old Galloping Gourmet, but now they don’t. No idea why. And yes, I was thinking of you when I mentioned WV. Get your own blog if you think otherwise…
(Actually do that - you are too good a writer not to have one!)
Mori - I think you and I are on the same page
Kerri - glad I could help you out with that link, and sorry that you went to a Bobby Flay restaurant. Both because the food sucked but also because you helped line his pockets.
Chris 1 - thank you - I think so as well
Chris 2 - Yes, I wish I had come up with that Emeril comparison. Though I have to disagree that Paula’s and Emeril’s taped shows are tolerable. They are just annoying schtick no matter how you look at it. These are the shows that suppsoedly made them “stars” and I am here to tell you that if that is all it takes, I should get a camcorder now and tape myself boiling water for a half hour - because it would be a hell of a lot more entertaining and informative than either of those two piles of drek. But in general, I would have to say we tend to agree - which makes me happy indeed!
Alissa said,
February 1, 2007 at 11:29 am
I can’t stop laughing long enough to actually comment properly. Well done.
Alissa said,
February 1, 2007 at 11:36 am
Also, I was a bit disappointed to see you didn’t include Sandra Lee, I’ve heard she’s the Martha Stewart of the network as far as bitch factor and I cringe everytime I see her “table landscapes”.
spiderman05 said,
February 1, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Personally, I love Rachel Ray. She is very entertaining and a very good instructor, somebody who bring joy in some of those dull days.
Matt said,
February 1, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Dear ol’ Dad - sorry, you posted your comment just as I was posting my last one. So to respond to your question - I think it is not wise for me to air our family’s dirty laundry in such a public forum…
Alissa - Thanks for the compliment, glad you liked it. And yes, I too am angry for not including Sandra Lee. I guess I just had it all out of my system and forgot her. (That should say something about how forgettable she is…) I find her show to be innocuous at best. It redefines “insipid,” and offers me no useful information. That is when it is at its best. At its worst, the ideas and creations she presents on “Semi-Homemade Cooking” makes the flotsam of a freshly demolished trailer park seem like Malibu at sunset. It is beyond the pale of tacky, tasteless and in the end it is downright insulting to the intelligence of the viewers of Food Network.
Spiderman05 - I can only hope you are trolling, that is, trying to get a rise out of me to keep the rant going - but I will play along a little. Simply put, if you think adding chicken stock and olive oil (sorry “EVOO - extra virgin olive oil”) to everything you make is “good instruction”, then please, for the sake of all of us who try to make a living as chefs, stop cooking right now. Additionally if you think NON-STOP YELLING, spastic twitching and conversation domination about her fugly family is “very entertaining” then you my friend, for the sake of the rest of us who want to watch good TV, need to throw out your TV and go read a book.
mori said,
February 1, 2007 at 3:13 pm
man…! Food should be respected.
Robert said,
February 1, 2007 at 3:16 pm
“If I want to see a bunch of whiny losers who can barely cook complain about each other, I would go back to culinary school.”
Wow. How long you been out of school? Come on man, for a guy who says he doesn’t want to see shows where people just bitch about other people …
On the flip side, I agree with most of your food network celebrity asessment.
Rob said,
February 1, 2007 at 4:59 pm
There was a piece about RayRay on Salon a few months ago that made an excellent point, viz. that if the woman weren’t such a bobbleheaded cutiepie her message would be almost too harsh to take: “it doesn’t matter what kind of day you’ve had. Take half an hour and make yourself something decent to eat. If I can do it, your sorry ass sure can.”
Matt said,
February 2, 2007 at 12:32 am
mori - again, I agree
Robert - Sure, this post is a little whiny, I’ll agree with that. But if you read the rest of the blog, you will see that is not my style. Also, you don’t see my ass up there on TV looking like a douche bag in front of a confessional camera whining about people I know nothing about, and in a show where I don’t have a clue what I am doing. So they made their lives public, their mistake, I can say what I like. QED.
Rob - Your point is valid. And that point that anyone can make something great in 30 minutes. There are two problems with RayRay (aka “Fugtard”) and the way she goes about it. The first one you hit on - she does it annoyingly. But the second is, the food sucks. Really, her repritoire is about as varied “Shake n’ Bake”. I agree that we can do great things in short time at the end of the day, but do they all have to suck? I think not.
chicken said,
February 3, 2007 at 10:44 am
THIS BLOG IS WHINY!!!
and rachael ray is my idol
Ryan said,
February 3, 2007 at 1:58 pm
Hi
I would just like to say you are a freaking idiot making fun of all these people. Get off your fat ass and do something else. I could care less about you. I consider you one of the lowest peices of trash in the world. Rachael Ray does not suck. Ih and by the way I don’y see you hosting your won damn show. So shut the the heck uop and go away. Also you aree the kind who probly likes Martha Stewart well I don’t thin Rachael Ray went to jai;. Who do you think you are. I can tell you who you are a self centred person who need to fhut up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S
You need to shut this website down or i will get in touch with her people.
Ryan said,
February 3, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Hi
I would just like to say you are a freaking idiot making fun of all these people. Get off your fat ass and do something else. I could care less about you. I consider you one of the lowest peices of trash in the world. Rachael Ray does not suck. oh and by the way I don’t see you hosting your own damn show. So shut the the heck up and go away. Also you are the kind who probly likes Martha Stewart well I don’t think Rachael Ray went to jail Who do you think you are. I can tell you who you are a self centred person who need to shut up!up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S
You need to shut this website down or i will get in touch with her people.
Chris said,
February 4, 2007 at 1:04 am
Ryan, I thinq your speel chuck is enfearior, ur punkuation is hit & mist, and….
Wait a second! MATT! You are making inflammatory comments on your own blog aren’t you? This CAN’T be for real. You are just making this up:)
Matt said,
February 4, 2007 at 2:12 am
Chicken - I assume you are just a troller, nice try.
Ryan 1 - You need to learn to spell before I even think of replying to you.
Ryan 2 - OK, so you fixed some (not all) of your spelling errors, so you have made it all the way up to the point of sounding merely like an “idiot” as compared to “total fucking moron”. So let’s recap your “arguments” shall we?
1. I am “stupid” for making fun of these people. You prove this point by making fun of me. Hmmmm…
2. I should “do something else”. Ummm, I’m a chef. What do you do in your spare time?…
3. I don’t host my own show, so I am somehow inferior. Perhaps you missed the point of this rant that it is because fools like Rachel Ray take up all the air time that cause otherwise able chefs (much better ones than myself) to not have shows. Would I like to have my own show? Sure - so long as it doesn’t mean I have to act like an idiot to do so.
4. I “probly (sic - both times) like Martha Stewart”. Not really. But you are entitled to your opinion.
5. I am a self-centered person who “need to fhut up” err… “shut up.” Guilty as charged. Superiority is an awful burden to bear, but people like you make it all that much easier.
6. I need to shut down this site, or you will “get in touch with her people”. For the love of God PLEASE do this. Please let her people get in touch with my people. I would LOVE to meet her. Really. Do this. PLEASE! I am begging you to really do this!
Thanks for stopping by!
Chris - Alas, “Ryan” seems to be for real. But let’s see if he can hold true on his promise to try and shut me down with the power that is Rachael Ray. I am not sure what weapons she has in her arsenal other than chicken stock and EVOO - Extra Virgin Olive Oil, but I am game to see how it flies….
Misty said,
February 5, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Dying laughing! Thanks for the levity and for the validation of my own secret hatred of most things Food Network. They really could do so much better.
Ryan said,
February 5, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Hi Matt
I would just like to say that Rachael Ray and All the other above could kick your butt at cooking!!! Thank you for Dedicating like a whole little note to me!! You’re so nice. Let me take the stuff back about shutting your web site down because it really wouldn’t do anything you would just still be the same. But you are entitled to your own opinion. I just want to know why we have to have hate websites about people if you don’t like her then just keep it to yourself and .In this case Rachael Ray is not the idiot . I really think that you have a couple issues. Plus you could not carry a show like Rachael. Hmmm who has the million selling cookbooks not you genius. Plus like five shows. I want to ask you one thing if so many people hated Rachael then wouldn’t her show be canceled by now????? Ask your self that. Also I have thought things over and Rachael’s people have got better things to do than to bother with idiots like you!
Nice talking to you. Write Back soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ryan
Ryan said,
February 5, 2007 at 6:43 pm
Hey Matt
I forgot to add They invented remote’s duh come on and get a life!!!!!!!!
Michael said,
February 5, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Chicken was right on one point a few days ago. This article is n a little whiny, its TERRA WHINY!!! Rachel is horribly overexposed, and i could understand how people might be annoyed at her. She is a short loud gal who is literally everywhere. But I’d dare say most people like her, and pretty sure more than have even heard of this website. Respect you for being a being a chef and all, but here’s a hint: if you have a problem with people obsessing over a cooking show gal bc they think she’s cute, b&m-ing about it doesn’t draw any attention to you or your point. Save yourself some stress and just don’t watch her and talk about what you actually like. More important things in life.
Michael said,
February 5, 2007 at 7:12 pm
take 2- agree with you more or less on Emeril and Flay- Emeril needs a new schitck and flay needs take that bbq tong out of- well you get the idea. Finally, from a maho guy perspective, the only two things drawing men in are Giada’s “contributions” and the non-pain-in the-a$$ stuff we can order that Bobby and Jamie find on road tasted.
maria said,
February 5, 2007 at 11:21 pm
Matt,
You’ll like this:
http://galleryoftheabsurd.typepad.com/14/2007/01/rachael_ray_per.html
Matt said,
February 6, 2007 at 11:10 am
Misty - Thanks so much for the compliment - glad you liked it so much. I really enjoyed writing it, and I am glad to know you enjoyed it.
Ryan 3 & 4 - I was going to say something more to you (don’t feel too special I am replying to you - you’ll notice I reply to everyone) but then I realized that you are actually a great asset to this post. Seeing as how you are (after all) an idiot who can barely converse in the English language, you prove my point beyond a reasonable doubt of what type of fool enjoys the schlock that is Rachael Ray. My point is that the rest of us who possess enough neurons to form a synapse would like to see something better on TV - but alas they cater to the likes of you. Thank you for further proof of my point.
Michael 1 & 2 - Gee, I was all set to see the light as you showed it to me. I was about to mend my wicked ways and use my life doing something so much better, but then you wrote back to whine about chefs yourself. Gosh, I am so confused! My newly-formed world view is crashing down around me. Oh well, guess I should just stick with who I already was. Seems easier.
Maria - Yes, I loved that - thanks so much for the link! When I wrote this post, I was actually thinking I was alone is my loathing of the celebrity chefs, and that I would receive nothing but hate mail. But seeing as how the hate mail I have received has been barely coherent at best, and the vast majority of the commentary I have received has been positive, I almost feel somewhat vindicated. Thanks for your addition!
Ryan said,
February 6, 2007 at 6:31 pm
Hi Matt
I was thinking last night and I have come to a decision and I actually laugh at a lot of the things you say now . Am I saying I don’t like Rachael , No In fact I think she is the best cook on FN and has one of the best talk show. But you do right some funny things.
ginger said,
February 7, 2007 at 7:37 pm
The photographs of Rachel Ray are either old ones from years back when she was young and cute or one’s that have been seriously air-brushed. Anyone that watches her new shows can see that she has probably gained about 30 pounds, has no neck and looks like a pig from eating her own repetitive recipes that are nasty and full of fat and grease and she claims them to be “healthful”.
Don’t tell me not to watch her…you can’t escape her no matter where you go!!!
_fro_ said,
February 7, 2007 at 7:43 pm
Ryan, don’t hurt yourself thinking.
________
Matt:
Great post! Agree on all points.
Thanks!
Ryan said,
February 7, 2007 at 7:54 pm
Hi Matt
On one of the comments I was reading you said seeing Rach suffer made you happy. What are you a two year old. What did your parents teach you growing up. I’m sure she would not like to see you suffer and as much as I don’t really like you I have to say I won’t want you to suffer….well maybe a little. Just kidding. But for us people like me and a couple of other people who like her you are just grotesque. I hope you realize there are much worse people out there. I want to ask you if you got the chance to meet Rach what would you do!!!! Please don’t say you would do harm.
Ryan
JR2 said,
February 7, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Matt, you are right. Ryan exemplifies the type of person who thinks Raytard is so great. Just browse one of her fan websites and you will see that they are all illiterate, idiotic lemmings (Ryan, that is an rodent known for being a mindless creature who will follow others off a cliff, heedless of the danger). And believe me, there is danger - the dumbing down and ultimate demise of much of the American population. The more the likes of Nabisco, Colavita and Oprah keep shoving that bitch in our faces, the more lemmings will follow, and will ultimately die slow deaths from eating her Retchipes.
Ryan, you were duly warned at the beginning of this post to STFU if you didn’t like it. However I’m glad you responded in your somewhat endearing illiterate fashion to help prove Matt’s point. Now go cry in your garbage bowl and STFU.
Matt, your biggest miss was Sandra Lee and her Semi-Horrible Cooking. Possibly I loathe her as much as Retchael. Anyone who uses that much Cool Whip in recipes (or uses it at all, for that matter) should be shot.
RD said,
February 7, 2007 at 10:03 pm
You should’ve gotten Robin Miller as well. She’s just like Ray except with more training that she doesn’t use. When I heard her utter “just eyeball it,” I avowed never to watch Quick Fix Meals ever again.
Ryan said,
February 7, 2007 at 11:38 pm
JR2
Anyone who uses that much Cool Whip in recipes (or uses it at all, for that matter) should be shot. Don’t you mean you should be shot??? Rachael Ray is a hell of a lot better than you although Sandra Lee can get moderately annoying.
Ginger
What do you eat I’m sure Rachael is a hell of lot more attractive than you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fro
How many times did you have to go through and re-spell the word thinking.
And last but not least the moron that runs the site
MRatt
Well what can I say some people were born with no brains and seriously you find Ms. Ray not attractive look in the mirror sometime.
Ryan
EVERYBODY NEEDS A LITTLE R&R
AND FOR ALL YOU ABHORRENT IDIOTS ON THE SITE R&R STANDS FOR RACHAEL RAY
Matt said,
February 8, 2007 at 2:08 am
Wow - so many people I don’t even know coming to my rescue! Or at least supporting me! So, as usual, allow me to respond.
Ryan 5 - Oh dear, I am becoming appealing to someone who likes Rachael Ray. Jesus - what am I doing wrong?!
ginger - yes, the FHM photos (no, they have not been touched up in any way – well, not by me at least) are pretty old. I believe the photo shoot was about 3 or 4 years ago. She is much chunkier now for sure, but indeed anyone would be who actually eats what she cooks.
_fro_ - thanks, back at ya.
Ryan 6 - (don’t you have anything else better to do?…) No, I of course would not actually harm Rachael myself if I were to meet her. Of course I would not actively seek out an opportunity to come in contact with her either… For example, if I were walking along the sidewalk one day, and saw her on the other side of the road, I would hardly expend the effort to cross the street just to meet her. But if I saw her trip and fall – that would make me giggle.
JR2 - Thank you for pointing out the disclaimer. My only wish is that shows like Rachael’s and Sandra Lee’s and Paula Deen’s would carry such similar disclaimers like: “Warning - if you actually find this show entertaining, you are too dumb to tie your shoes, and you may hurt yourself next time you get up to go to the bathroom.” Sandra Lee’s show is indeed terrible, and I was running out of steam/indignation by the time I got there. I fully agree - as mentioned in a previous comment - that it is horrid. Perhaps when my levels of piss and vinegar are back up, I will take the time to take her down.
RD - I have actually never seen Robin Miller. I couldn’t pick her out of a police line-up with the Harlem Globetrotters, since I don’t really know who she is. But I will consider myself warned!
Ryan - Good lord, now you are just embarrassing yourself. Are you really trying to point out the bad spelling of OTHER commenters here? Jesus, you misspelled my name! “MRatt”? Really, where between typing a capital letter “M” and a lowercase “a” did a capital “R” sneak in? Look at your keyboard! How the hell did you do that? I would take your put downs of calling me dumb and/or ugly a little more seriously if you ever learned how to converse in your own native (I am assuming) language. Until then, please, go post on the Rachael Ray fan site. You are seriously out-gunned in the intelligence department here…
Dianne said,
February 8, 2007 at 2:47 pm
First time reader who enjoyed this blog! Back in the day, when Rachael only had “30 Minute Meals”, I really enjoyed her and learned a few things. Now, like most of the universe, I want her to go away quickly.
I do love Giada’s recipes, though, so feel a need to stand up for her here. Everything I’ve made from her show has turned out beautifully.
I also want to have Alton’s baby.
Justin said,
February 8, 2007 at 7:15 pm
This certainly has been amusing. I’ll have to add your blog to my daily food reads.
I have to respectfully disagree with your take on Bobby Flay. I agree he’s a dick, but that’s why I love him so much. Every woman I know would take Mr. Flay to bed faster than you can say “ancho chile” and I find his braggadocio amusing and likable. I’m a dick too though, so who knows. I’d love to go out drinking with him.
Lastly, I don’t care for RR’s shows but let me tell you something; if we’re on the topic of having a drink with FN personalities, take away her show and clout, RR would be the kind of girl you meet in a bar, let her cook for you while listening to her brag about her family of foodies just long enough to take that wide mouth into the bedroom and do somethings there are no acronyms for then never call her again. That’d be yummo.
Ryan said,
February 8, 2007 at 10:02 pm
Matt aka MRatt
I called you MRatt because you are a Rat.Rachael Ray is awsome you are lame. Wher did you get your brain Ebay?
Ryan
EVERYBODY NEEDS A LITTLE R&R
Matt said,
February 9, 2007 at 1:23 am
Diane - so glad you loved the blog. Welcome aboard! I too used to see Rachael and think she wasn’t too annoying because there was no “shtick” to her style. And she wasn’t overexposed. And she wasn’t repeating the same trash ingredients over and over. But yeah, now, she is a disaster with a microphone. As for Giada, she CAN cook. I never would question her cooking ability. She has the chops for that. Alas, her show, and the way she is used on the FN is a joke though. And please, someone get her a Thesaurus!
Justin - Well, as long as you recognize Flay is a dick, then that’s cool. If that’s what you like about him, then that is your business. So if you like watching guys be dicks, and dream of sexually abusing Rachael Ray, that’s your business as well. I myself will stay away from you and your fraternity brothers…
Ryan - Nice try, but nothing you have said here would lead me to believe you are that clever. (Mind you, even calling me “rat” by misspelling my name is not exactly up to the level of Oscar Wilde…) Keep trying though, maybe someday someone will be impressed by you. I doubt it, but you are welcome to keep trying.
S1 said,
February 9, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Just happened to stumble across your blog Matt. My sides are still hurting from laughing so hard! I agree with everything you wrote on and was suprised someone had so accurately blogged my thoughts on the different chefs. Nice work.
BTW, I find it hilarious how you outmatch Ryan’s pathetic rebuttals without even trying. Seriously, this guy’s horrible lack of spelling and inability to form a cogent reason as to why Rachel Ray is a good cook is only reinforcing your article.
Ryan said,
February 9, 2007 at 5:36 pm
Matt
This has really nothing to do with Rachael Ray. But I do have to say you seem to have a problem with everything.
Ryan
EVERYBODY NEEDS A LITTLE R&R
Gael said,
February 9, 2007 at 6:06 pm
I watch the food channel for 2 shows and 2 shows alone.
Barefoot Contessa with Ina Garten and Everyday Italian with Giada
While Giada’s personality can be grating she does make excellent food. I really could careless who’s hosting as long as the food doesn’t suffer.
Otherwise the food channel is populist trash. It’s also incredibly racist. You would think a channel that features food 24 hours a day would have one show on the most consumed cuisine in the world, Chinese. They don’t even have to have that though. They can go for the whole continent and make an Asian show. The fact that they don’t have an asian show isn’t the worst part, it’s that they don’t have any ethnic shows at all. No latin food, no Mediterranean, no indian, no soul food, not even real french food. The most ethnic food on there is Italian. It’s a crime what they do on that channel.
Ferra said,
February 9, 2007 at 6:08 pm
Awesome post! I found your blog from Rachael Ray Sux. I don’t even watch Food Network anymore, and this is the reason why. But you forgot Giada also says “buttery”, “nutty”, and “creamy”, haha.
Bkhuna said,
February 10, 2007 at 12:16 am
Rachel Ray has one redeeming quality; she has an ass you’ld love to whack with a car antenna.
Yep, that’s about it.
Matt said,
February 10, 2007 at 12:36 am
Ah, time for my daily run down of the comments here. The intelligent ones, and of course, Ryan.
S1 - Thank you so much for your compliments, and so glad you decided to come by. And yes, while it is never a good idea to argue with a fool since they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience, I find it just too easy to argue with someone as lame as Ryan. Which brings me to…
Ryan - No, I don’t have a problem with everything - just people who regurgitate other people’s press lines like sheep. Seriously, you are pathetic. But then (the rest of you won’t see this) you crossed the line and posted pure hateful drivel. Not at me, but at my other readers. You can abuse me all you want via my private email, but alas Ryan, all your future postings will be deleted. Sorry, you brought it on yourself. Go masturbate on some other site.
Gael - Ahh… back to intelligent commentary. Yes, the complete lack of ethnic shows is one of the major problems with FN. What about the cuisine of North Africa and Morocco? What about Brazilian food? Where are the shows on Eastern European food… oh wait, scratch that… But the point is still valid, and is the one thing I would change with FN if I had the chance. Oh yeah, and I would cancel Rachael too of course…
Ferra - Thanks so much, and you are totally right about those adjectives too. I stand corrected.
Bkhuna - Wow, and I thought my hatred ran deep….
Genevieve said,
February 15, 2007 at 9:00 pm
This post, and all the ensuing commentary…especially the commentary, was the absolute BEST part of my otherwise incredibly benign work day. Matt - I read Anthony Bourdain’s post first, and I do enjoy yours much more. Probably because of the more subtle, but still pirecing jabs you take at FN. Can’t wait to read what you have to say about Sandra Lee and I don’t think Bobby Flay has ever one a “Throwdown”…which makes me very very happy.
Tracy said,
February 16, 2007 at 1:00 am
I thought I had to be the only person that noticed that Giada said crunchy and crispy all the time and being a lady, I am not interested in looking at her cleavage, one would think she would get burnt. I just wanted to tell you that your wit and descriptions were out of this world!! I laughed my tail off.
Keep up the good work!!
mel said,
February 16, 2007 at 5:25 pm
Hey Matt,
I’ve begun writing a piece “why does everyone hate EVOO”, I’m trying to really understand the viciousness behind the attacks on Rachael Ray. It seems that most of these rants start off about her annoying voice, progress to her cooking style, and then it usually leads to slamming her, her marriage (is it really failing?) and her fat-assness.
The other thing all these blogs have in common is that the majority, but not all,of the haters are chefs, trained chefs. I get it, I respect that. Food and fine eating is an art form. Unfortunately, we cannot all whip up truffles and fingerling potatoes for dinner. I would venture to guess that the majority of Rachael Ray supporters and fanatics are working moms, stay at home mom’s or single dads that have their kids on rotating weekends. Why should they be ridiculed for enjoying “meatloaf sammys and sassy french fries”. Statements implying that a person who would consider serving a meal that was made in 30 minutes should not be allowed near a stove in the first place, are snobby, elitist and do not represent the truth behind food as a means of gathering, communicating and enjoyment. I beleive that everyone should eat fresh, delicious and thoughtful entrees. But whatever, I buy only organic soy milk and kosher meats,i guess i’m a big ol’ snob too.
A Nony Mous said,
February 16, 2007 at 8:53 pm
Ah, Mel, I think you have a serious reading comprehension problem. No one implied that serving a meal made in 30 minutes shouldn’t be allowed–serving a *crappy* meal is what everyone’s railing against.
I am not a chef, trained or otherwise, just a damned good cook. I’ve been a single, working mom and a married, working mom and it takes the same amount of time to put an excellent meal on the table as to cook up prepared crap.
I hate Rachel Ray with a passion. Actually, I hate any adult whose vocabulary is so limited they resort to baby talk.
Matt said,
February 17, 2007 at 2:07 am
Genevieve - Wow, you honor me to claim that my writing is better than that of Anthony Bourdain. He is a great writer, and I have to say, he hit the nail on the head in many ways in his post as well. I was going for a little more humor in mine, so perhaps that made my post a little more enjoyable to some - though I would hardly refer to any of my comments “subtle”… I guess the Sandra Lee thing is becoming a command performance. I will have to look into that, if I can stand to watch her show. And also, my wife saw another episode of Throwdown, and he lost again. Is he holding back, or is he really just this average? So odd…
Tracy - Again, thank you so much for your kind words. I am so glad that I was not alone in seeing this incredible lack of creativity in Giada’s descriptors. Sure, it is a minor complaint when compared to the annoying traits of other chefs on Food Network, but all the same, don’t these shows have writers?…
Mel - I was going to reply but “A Nony Mous” really did steal a lot of my thunder. You answer the question in your very own comment:
“Unfortunately, we cannot all whip up truffles and fingerling potatoes for dinner.”
Why the hell not?!? Here you go: Preheat oven to 400, scrub fingerling potatoes and cut in half lengthwise. Toss in bowl with olive oil (sure, it can be EVOO if you like…) salt, pepper, fresh rosemary and chili powder, or crushed cayenne. Spread on sheet pan, roast till done – about 20 minutes. While they are roasting, make something else, which I leave to your own imagination and creativity.
I made these very potatoes (which is why Ii find it so funny you picked “fingerling potatoes” as your example) just yesterday for the staff of my kitchen, since it was my turn to make family meal. In the same half hour, I blanched some green beans, mixed them with chopped bok choy, soy sauce, sesame oil and black and white sesame seeds for an Asian vegetable salad, AND I also trimmed and baked off some chicken breasts with rosemary and garlic as well. All for 15 people. All in 30 minutes. Sure, I may be faster than the average person if only because of my training, but the point remains the same. Making quality food is not hard - which I understand is the point of Rachael Ray’s shtick. But must the food she suggest we make in that 30 minutes be such total crap? Example here. And then add to that Mel’s very salient point that we don’t need to be talked at (YELLED AT no less) by someone who uses baby talk (Example, her recipe for “Ratat-stoup-ie”) and a total lack of creativity to force us to think that we not smart enough on our own to come up with a way to make dinner in less than 30 minutes.
In short, Mel, you are the first person to come here to defend Rachael who is actually able to string two sentences together in an arguably coherent fashion. Which leads me to one very obvious conclusion: You are too smart to be a fan of Rachael Ray! For goodness sake, break free of whatever spell she has placed on you to make you think that she is the ONLY one who is able to think up ways to cook food quickly. By grace of your God-given intellect, you have it in your power to do better and not be condescended to by that fool. You can do it. Break free and let yourself experiment in the kitchen unhindered by those who would have you believe you can’t go it alone.
I promise you, you will be surprised how much better you can be.
A Nony Mous - Thanks so much for your support. I may not know you, but you rock all the same! And if you have any recipes of your “damn good” fast cooking you want to share with me - my email address is always available on this site!
mel said,
February 20, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Thanks Matt, I am a pretty smart and delicious made-from-scratch cookie ;o). i enjoy your opinions and insight. I am not a regular “30 minute meals” watcher. I work weird hours and I only TiVo “Heroes”. I’ve doctored up some of her recipes i found online and they ended pretty delicious because I made them with love. I’m sure once i get more experience in the kitchen and can chop an onion in uniformity I’ll totally kick culinary bootay.
i’ve just had a hard time understanding all that HATE directed at her. Not that Rachael from the block needs my defense. Most of the time I enjoy any sort of new ideas. I don’t despise rachael ray for one very specific reason, she capitalized on the little knowledge she had of some ingredients and totally exploited it. I can’t help it, i’m a sucker for tidbits of knowledge. I’m sure i’ll grow out of her screaming and yelling. I promise that once my dog starts barking at the tv screen because she senses the evil lurking in that perky smile, i will change the channel and never watch another 30 minute meal. I don’t know why I thought of fingerling potatoes as my example-they just look all fancy schamcy! which brings me to my next point: ALOT of people are seriously intimidated by the kitchen, and they have begun to feel more comfortable in it BECAUSE of Rachael Ray. They don’t mind listening to her, because she is simple. The ingredients are not complicated and sometimes her shortcuts, although blasphemous to some seasoned home chefs, damn good cooks, and professionally trained chefs,are easy enough to convince some apartment dwelling-student loan surviving singleton to eat something made at home instead of dropping down $5 for an overprocessed Mcmeal. Think of people who are terrified of trying anything with the word “seared” in front of it, I know people who won’t eat anything unfamiliar-AppleBees is fine dining in their opinion. If one annoying tv personality (i won’t call her anything more than that), can get a couple of these people into a gourmet supermarket and cajole them into trying brie, pancetta or whole wheat pasta then I can’t bring myself to hate her just yet. But once she decides to get all pregnant and starts talking about her cravings for Christmas Pasta or Sammies or Stoupies….ehhh I may just want to hurl some creme fraiche at the T.V
p.s giada is a lollipop head.
Cathey said,
February 23, 2007 at 7:17 pm
the ironic thing is, loads of sites on the internet complain and critize Rachel Ray FOR HER SUCCESS. I don’t know who to laugh at more, you guys for critising her every move and word, or making yourselves look like fools.
girl said,
February 24, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Now I know who Rachel Ray is. *g* I’ve heard her name once or twice before but never knew who/what she is. I suppose that makes me lucky, really.
So, out of curiousity, which category would you throw Jamie Oliver into there?
Matt said,
February 25, 2007 at 1:03 pm
mel - I think you an I are actually more on the same page than you would think… We both want to see an advancement in the food culture in this country, and a move away from buying over-priced and over-processed McMeals. And I would concede the point that if Rachael Ray were doing this, then perhaps that is a good thing. The problem is just like I don’t need Cookie Monster telling me to eat healthy, I don’t need a grown-up Muppet doing the same thing. There is something to be said for the message, and something to be said for how the message is delivered. There are any number of more capable, more talented and more eloquent chefs who could be doing the exact same thing, and would not nearly annoy me, and so many others, to such an extreme degree. And that, is the reason for the hate.
Cathey - sigh, another Rachael Ray fan, another person with a lack of skills in both reading comprehension and writing. First the writing. You don’t know “who” (sic) to laugh at more, “us”, or the “making ourselves look like fools”. “Making ourselves look like fools” is not a “who”…. Your sentence therefore makes you look like, well, a Rachael Ray fan. So, follow closely since this sentence construction will actually be appropriate. I don’t know WHOM to feel sorrier for: Rachael Ray’s fans, because they are all idiots, or Rachael Ray since her fan base consists entirely of idiots.
Now to your reading comprehension skills. It is not her success we are criticizing if you were actually able to read between the lines. The problem is that she should not be a success given that she sucks. But, alas, she is a success, so the real ire is placed directly on YOU, her fans for making her one. You should be ashamed of yourselves for supporting and prolonging the stardom of such garbage. So no, I don’t laugh at you, I just silently weep for our collective future since most likely you are all breeding.
girl - You are the luckiest person in America. (Going on the assumption your American, which I know is wrong of me…) Now that you know who she is, do everything in your power to not get better acquainted with her. As for Jamie Oliver, I think he is a tremendous cook who had two very good shows on Food Network. I also asked for (and received) his latest cookbook for Christmas this year. While the writing in it is a tad self-serving at times, the recipes are phenomenal and demonstrate real creativity in taking Italian food in new directions while still paying proper homage to the culinary traditions that helped create these dishes. In short, he is the perfect kind of person to be hosting a Food Network show - which is EXACTLY why you won’t see him there. And that’s a real shame.
Vanessa said,
February 25, 2007 at 11:46 pm
Matt– Thanks so much for making my night! I was reading your blog to my honey and he had to read over my shoulder because I was laughing my ass off! I still have a smile on my face.
You’re incredibly witty and very entertaining! Wishing you the best in your culinary journey. V.
Rebecca said,
February 27, 2007 at 4:09 pm
Every time I hear her, I want to vomit. And what grown woman says “sammies” (sandwiches), “pasketti” (spaghetti) and “smashed potatoes”?!?!?!? For god’s sake, you are in your 30’s… USE PROPER PRONUNCIATIONS!!!
Nick said,
March 7, 2007 at 12:32 pm
I actually like Robin Miller…same basic show concept as Rachael Ray, but without the annoying personality and excessive hand gesturing.
degreefoodie said,
March 8, 2007 at 3:35 am
Matt,
Loved the blog. For about 2 years I have shared the same feelings and thought myself a “hater” because the “personalities” had a show while I have been chefing and enjoying my chosen field without the accolades of those on TV who don’t know half as much as I do. That said, I watched a piece of an episode of 30 MM the other day and Ms. Ray decided to suggest to viewers that if they couldn’t find pork stock - combine equaql parts of chicken and beef for the same effect. What the F***?
Lastly, I am so glad the Paula Deen now has a man, but if I hear her refer to Michael and what he “likes” and all the rest of her sesual innuendos ONE MORE TIME, I will SCREAM. I mean damn, she’s finally getting some on a regular basis. She got married…we know she at least gets it once a week (hopefully @ aged 60)…but damn, do we have to be privvy to every orgasm?
degreefoodie said,
March 8, 2007 at 3:54 am
Something else I forgot…Whe I first started watching FN, I realy like Giada although everytime my hubby saw her he asked, “what is is with you and that big headed girl?” I secretly laughed. I especially find it annoying how her “friends” ( who she claimed on Chefography were her “real life friends”) appear at the end of most episodes. I don’t think I could go back to kindergarten and dig up that many people and I have always been the most popular girl in school. I will admit however, everything she has ever showcased that I cooked was a success. And you need to chek out Sandra Lee and discover that she is as big a “hot mess” as RR. Speaking of which, I also dislike Ina “Contessa”. She can cook (though not professionally trained) but she is a grade A snob. Just listen to her show, introductions to what she is about to prepare in particular and you will agree. In any given episode she repeatedly says “The good news is…”, “How great is that?”…or “How simple is that?”. It isn’t what she says, but how she says it…like the frumpy, Eash Hampton snob she truly is. The way she emasculates her husband is enough for me to want ot horsewhip her. And somebody PLEASE get her something to wear other than the same blue or black blouse (collar turned up, no less) and funky black, high water pants!
Matt said,
March 8, 2007 at 9:50 am
Vanessa - Thank you so much for your praise of my writing, and I am so glad you got a kick out of this post. It was a ton of fun to write, and the overwhelmingly positive response (especially from those who are coherent) has assured me it was the right thing to do as well.
Rebecca - Exactly. This is one of the major complaints I have. The concept that we need to cook something in just 30 minutes is enough “dumbing down” of cooking to begin with. To have this concept then taught to us in baby talk is just more than I can stand.
Nick - Still have not seen Robin, but I will watch it if it is ever on and I am home. I want people to remember - I am still a chef! My TV watching hours are limited to say the least.
degreefoodie - While my motivation is not one of sour grapes - that is, I DON’T want my own TV show - I agree fully with your sentiments here. Rachael’s cooking “tips” are downright criminal in how she butchers food, and Paula Deen, as I mentioned, is both repulsive and embarrassing to watch. The fact that I left Sandra Lee out of this rant is what seems to irk people the most. Yes, she is garbage, but I just ran out of steam while writing - I hope to get to her some day. Yes, Giada can cook, and I bet she can do it without showing us 90% of her boobies as well. And finally, Ina Garten (a.k.a. “The Baefoot Contessa”) is indeed snobby. Again, the woman can cook, but I do feel like she is condescending to me when I watch her, so I watch her rarely. (And your joke about emasculating her husband and horsewhipping her made me laugh.) Good luck to you and your cooking adventures as well!
degreefoodie said,
March 8, 2007 at 11:07 pm
Matt,
What do you think of Tyler Florence? I like him but I do tend to mute the TV when he is on because he uses “OK” (or rather his version - “K”) incessantly. I counted how many times he said it in his Thanksgiving Feast episode. I can’t remember the total but it was well above 50!
jerry said,
March 13, 2007 at 3:47 pm
I hate Rachael so much. Why do I watch her? I have no idea except to get tortured I guess.
I hate mostly when she says cool/awesome/how good does that look/ it smells amazing/yummo/delish. Actually, I hate when she talks, period
degreefoodie said,
March 13, 2007 at 10:31 pm
LOL. I bought some olive oil today. Hubby came in the kitchen while I was unloading the groceries, picked up a bottle of olive oil, and said, “Oh no…don’t let the Queen of EVOO and ‘Yummo!’ find out you didn’t buy the EV - that’s “extra virgin” variety”. Looking at it typed out now, it doesn’t seem so funny, but when he said it, I found it hilarious!
pmylaw said,
March 17, 2007 at 8:00 am
This is by far the funniest blog posting I have ever seen about Food Network “stars”. Keep it up.
Lisa said,
March 19, 2007 at 4:14 pm
agree with pmylaw - very funny - please review some of the other shows - you do a great job!
Matt said,
March 20, 2007 at 8:42 am
degreefoodie - Tyler Florence is benign enough that he doesn’t offend me if I am channel surfing past him. I had not noticed this verbal tic of his, but now I am sure to.
jerry - Yes, she would be fine if she never spoke again. Or cooked. Or wrote. Basically if she just went away, we would all be better off.
degreefoodie - I guess we had to be there.
pmylaw - Thank you so much, I really appreciate the support! Very nice of you to say.
Lisa - Thank you, I agree with pmylaw as well! I will most likely do something on Sandra Lee when I get my ire up once again.
I hate Giada said,
March 21, 2007 at 1:48 pm
I can’t stand that meatball head Giada and if I hear her pronounce one more ingredient with her perfect Italian I would love to hit her in the face with a Giant “Chicken with Mustard Mascarpone Marsala Sauce” Pie. Those teeth scare me too!
Giada hater
degreefoodie said,
March 21, 2007 at 10:19 pm
Ha Ha I hate Giada! Her ONLY redeeming quality is she can in fact cook. But if I hear the FN refer to her “movie star good looks” one more time…
One of my closest friends is Italian and she finds her “correct pronunciations” completely hilarious. If she would just say the word and not talk as though her viewers don’t know how to pronounce food items in the Italian language, she would be so much better.
As for that scary smile, I bet she has about 20 more teeth than the rest of us!
hobe said,
March 27, 2007 at 6:39 pm
i must say that bobby flay is the biggest dick on earth. he is ignorant, arrogant and full of himself. yes, he may be a good chef with great plating ideas but that doesn’t balance out his shitty attitude.
degreefoodie said,
March 27, 2007 at 9:40 pm
Well, I’m not defending him and everyone is entitled to their opinion but…(copying and pasting what I posted on the Rachel Ray Sux website):
I actually met Bobby Flay in person. I am the type where I do not approach the “famous” because you never know what you’re going to get. I saw him in an airport (funny I cna’t remember where, I think I was on my way to Denver) but anyway, he was the nicest most cordial guy. After telling him how much I liked Boy Meets Grill he actually engaged ME in conversation wantint to know what I did for a living, liked to do in my spare time, etc. He actually LISTENED to evey word I said as thought I were the one with umpteen restaurants and cookbooks. He could have changed over the last 3-4 years, but I honestly walked away with a smile on my face and thinking, “He reminds me of those party non stop frat boys I went to college with”. He can sometimes be pompous on TV but I kinda think that is the was he is expected to be given that FN doesn’t have a clue with regard to any of their talent/. Look at how out of control they’ve let Rachel and Emeril get…If I hear “BAM!” one more time I will (you fill in the blank)
So, I suppose it is all open for interpretation. Sometimes he comes off as cocky, but his off screen persona is or was not that way in my interaction with him.
Matt said,
March 27, 2007 at 11:13 pm
I Hate Giada - Wow! Such ire for FN’s number one hottie! Well, that is if you have a thing for bobble-heads… I too think that her over-pronunciations of Italian words are irritating seeing as how I speak some Italian myself. But she has a killer combination: she can cook and has large breasts. Alas, I don’t see her going away any time soon.
Degreefoodie - Perhaps Giada is a great white shark?…
Hobe - Agreed. There are so many people who can cook well who aren’t dicks. I wonder though if there is a chicken and egg thing going on here - did he become a dick because he got popular, or did he become popular because his dick-like type-A personality get him what he wanted? Either way, there is no need for him to be such a prick on TV. He can cook, but some humility would be nice to go with it.
Degreefoodie - That is an interesting story, and gives me hope that maybe - just maybe - the dick we see on TV is just an act that he puts on for some reason. I doubt it, but all the same it is great that you had a good experience when you met him. My experience meeting Alton Brown was likewise pleasurable.
degreefoodie said,
March 28, 2007 at 1:03 am
OMG!!! That is who I want to meet more than any of the other FN “hosts”. Please expound more on your meeting him and his personality?!?!
eva marie said,
March 28, 2007 at 4:03 pm
hello, theres a show called heathly eating with ellie krieger, and she very cool and down to earth. you should check it out
jenna said,
April 9, 2007 at 11:17 pm
I must admit..I watch some of these shows..,mostly out of morbid curiousity. I might modify a Paula D. recipe before I would make a RR franken-meal.
I agree that most of the shows on FN all seem like clones of each other…although Good Eats is a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stale network of craptacular food I would never consume.
I kind of like the entertaining guy in the afternoons..although his name eludes me at the moment. He breaks down seemingly complex dishes into manageable tasks and doesn’t get weird with the spices or ingredients.
trama said,
April 11, 2007 at 7:48 am
Ich erklare meinen Freunden uber diese Seite. Interessieren!
lil'mama said,
April 11, 2007 at 8:22 am
Dude seriosly how can someone put down people like you do? We are all human and all men are equal. Just because you don’t like the way people are or the way they cook doesn’t mean you should be allowed to put them down. You obviosly don’t have a frikin’ life because you’re running this website. I don’t know you and I dont want to know you but please just think about this………. Would you like it if someone was talking trash about you? I mean yeah I admit Rachel Ray has a loud moutth but thats because she is full of energy and has a good personality. About Ryan so what if he can’t spell at least you can understand what hes saying. Matt~!!!!! Please stop talking trash about people. I know deep down you are a good person. with lots of love
lil’mama(aka.. gwen…)
lil'mama said,
April 11, 2007 at 8:28 am
I really don’t watch the FN and I don’t know half the cooks you mentioned but really you need to calm down. Have you ever tasted any of their food.? if not then don’t talk about how it tastes. I’m out for know but I’ll ne back. Oh and Ryan you give a good debate. Keep it up. Don’t let some bully like Matt talk ’bout you.!!!!!
lil’mama (aka… gwen….)
lil'mama said,
April 11, 2007 at 8:29 am
Ask Trama what the hell kind of language shes speaking.?
Matt said,
April 11, 2007 at 10:50 am
Degreefoodie - perhaps in a future post I will go into more detail about this, but just know that he is a stand up guy who has not let the fame go to his head.
eva marie - I will be happy to watch it.
Jenna - I am not sure who you are talking about either. I really have given up on the channel, so anyone new on there is underneath my radar.
trama - wow, an international posting! We’re going global!
lil’mama1 - So let me get this straight, I am loser for putting other people down that I don’t know, and you tell me this by putting me down?… Since “hypocrisy” seems to be a concept that you are not all that familiar with, I will just pretty much ignore the rest of your comments, as they seem to be the same tripe that all other RR supporters provide.
lil’mama2 - Yes, I have tried many of the recipes I have seen. The ones I know will turn out well. And I give credit to those who can cook. And for the record, if you think anything Ryan has said here is even halfway intelligent, then wow - you really need go to a site that is more up to speed with your intellect. Oh, and Ryan is banned from commenting. It’s my site. I always win.
lil’mama3 - There are these people in the world who speak languages other than English. They are known as “not Americans”. Dumbass.
degreefoodie said,
April 13, 2007 at 1:18 am
LOL @ Matt.
I think Jenna is talking about Tyler Florence. Given her description, that is the only person on in the afternoon it could be.
To those who hypocritically criticize you and say you “don’t have a life because you are running this website and trashing people you’ve never met” (or something along those lines) what does it say about them? Obviously, they must have an awful lot of time on their hands to even find the site and then take the time to post. Just a thought…
jenna said,
April 13, 2007 at 1:59 pm
I like Tyler…but the guy I was thinking of is Michael Chiarello. He does the Easy Entertaining show. It always shows him going out and picking tomatoes and going to outdoor markets. I would eat the food he prepares any day.
He made some picnic items on one show that left me salivating.
Ana said,
April 13, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Love your site. I also would love to see more quality food programs. But I guess for FN quality does not sell, what sells? programs like Rackel Ray’s and the other 4 or 5 “chefs” running all the programming on that channel. guess thats why I do not watch much tv.
Matt said,
April 14, 2007 at 10:46 am
degreefoodie - I couldn’t have said it better myself.
jenna - ah, Michael Chiarello. Yes, I have seen his show, and own his Tra Vigne cookbook as well. He is an excellent chef, and I agree his show is straightforward, simple and not over-hyped by him trying to be a jackass in front of the camera. I think he is a great chef with a good show. The one thing that bugs me about his show - and this is a minor detail to be sure - is that every time he adds a spice, like salt, they have to show his hand dipping into the salt jar to pick up salt. Thank you Mr. Cameraman and Mr Editor! Thank you for showing me how to pick up salt 15 times in a show! I would be so lost otherwise! Hardly Michael’s fault…
And yes, I am slightly neurotic like that.
Ana - Glad you love the site, and you hit the nail on the head with why that network needs a total re-tooling.
degreefoodie said,
April 14, 2007 at 11:45 pm
“every time he adds a spice, like salt”…
My question - What is the significance of “grey salt”? It’s the only kind he uses and he places emphasis on that fact but never says why. Just wondering. Otherwise, I love him too. He sure has an awful lot of friends though..LOL.
imparare said,
April 15, 2007 at 2:00 am
Interesting comments..
Jay said,
April 18, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Hate is a strong word, for some of the users on this board please get a real life and do what you do best. Stop hating on people, that is what really sucks!
Let them do their thing and you can do yours, its as simple as that.
BTW, I think that Rachael Ray is adorable!
jenna said,
April 19, 2007 at 5:03 pm
That’s the great thing about this country…we can say whatever we want….so you go right on thinking Rachael is adorable and we’ll continue to think she’s loud, abrasive and irritating.
And if you enjoy cross contamination…you’ll just love her 3MM messipes.
Eize said,
April 21, 2007 at 11:50 pm
I came across this when a friend of mine (who absolutely hates RR and is similarly confused about her popularity) posted the link on her blog. The introductory picture of RR attempting a sexy face while licking on a chocolate-covered spatula–I will only say to hell with the attempts at sexy and shove the spatula up her ginormous mouth! She can do it! Otherwise, that image will give me nightmares for a week. I really have to invest in a therapist one of these days. Who are the editors of FHM trying to lure with a partially dressed Rachel Ray—the deaf male demographic?
(Speaking of nightmares, I finally figured out where the crazy laugh the masked assassin in my nightmares came from—it came from RR!!!!! Lord, save me!)
Despite all the irritables she brings into our lives, I think RR should keep her show. Where would the military get recordings of her insane laughter and voice to use in their psywar? She’s doing something for Uncle Sam!
I’ve been scanning the comments before reaching the “Leave a Comment” and I’m wondering—R&R? What the–Rachel AND Ray? Does it stand for rAmpersandr? Or are they real people–who are they, and what do they have to do with this post???
I like Iron Chef America, but I do feel the show’s rigged. Always, the Iron Chefs always win and not the challengers, or if the challengers win, its always under the guise of a tie. Meh. (Turkey sorbet still makes me shudder—ew! I’m never going to forget THAT.)
Giada is ok–I haven’t tried any of her recipes, but they sure look appetizing. Never mind that she’s the most anorexic-looking chef I’ve ever seen (the bigness of the head has already been mentioned over and over).
The Essence of Emeril potshot—GOLD! Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam!
“lil’mama3 - There are these people in the world who speak languages other than English. They are known as “not Americans”. Dumbass.”
Word. I’m from Asia, I’m bilingual, and yes Matt, your blog is goin’ global! Keep posting!
Eize said,
April 29, 2007 at 1:41 am
Continuation: the Philippines, to be exact (one L, two P’s)
John said,
May 2, 2007 at 2:59 am
I think RR is hilarious. I think she’s a person that needs to be taken in small doses. If I had to be around her in real life, I’m sure that drive me completely insane, but I think the same thing would happen if I had to spend a lot of time about Homer Simpson. But I don’t. I can turn on the Simpsons, and laugh at something that’s happening elsewhere and turn it off when it’s over. The other day, when she was making firehouse chili, she started talking about firemen, and didn’t stop for probably ten minutes. I couldn’t stop laughing, just because of the ridiculousness of how long it extended. And she ended with a story about her friend who had a husband that wasn’t attractive enough to be a fireman, but dressed up like one in the bedroom. But when he came out to show his wife the costume, she just started laughing and couldn’t stop. Scorned husband. Comedic gold. As long as I don’t have to be around her, I can forgive her inadequacies.
John said,
May 2, 2007 at 3:04 am
Seriously, just watch RR as if it were a solo animated sitcom, and you’ll find much more enjoyment from it.
lil'mama said,
May 2, 2007 at 8:24 am
HEYYYYYYYY Matt,
how have you been? Well lets start things off by saying no hard feelings. I was watching the FN and I’m starting to see where your coming from.!!!! I want you to know I got a job and what am I ( a cook) I guess people think I’m pretty damn good seeing as how we’ve been open only 3 weeks and weve already had 9,000 customers. I think youre a really cool person. And you have a point when you said I was putting you down for putting other people down. I f that makes any since.!!!! well im off to culinary school.!!!1 have a great day talk to ya soon.
jdc347 said,
May 5, 2007 at 6:58 pm
You’re a freaking crock lady. Get a life. If you hate the food network so much, THEN STOP WATCHING IT ALL THE TIME! Another thing…..if you hate her show….STOP WATCHING IT!!! You sound like a food netowrk stalker. I bet all you do is sit on your fat ass all day eating and watching food. Post a pic of your face if you are not too ashamed….
Chad said,
May 6, 2007 at 2:07 am
What’s up with her bad tips on $40 a day? Didn’t she used to be a server or a bartender? Bullshit, otherwise that bitch would tip better.
Steve said,
May 6, 2007 at 2:08 pm
I miss Ryan. He was lovably retarded.
flairbrtndr said,
May 7, 2007 at 2:59 pm
I HATE HOW THIS BITCH STIFFS EVERY PERSON IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY ON HER RETARDED FUCKING SHOW “$40 A DAY” I HATE THIS BITCH SHE SHOULD STOP THE MOMENTUM OF A TRAIN WITH HER FACE
Young N. said,
May 7, 2007 at 6:43 pm
Please tell me why you think Sara Moulton is stuck in the morning line-up?
janaynay said,
May 7, 2007 at 6:53 pm
eww i hate her she is sooooooo ugly &her voice ugh !!!!!!!!
Matt said,
May 8, 2007 at 11:12 am
Wow - I have been gone too long. Oh well, here goes:
degreefoodie - Why does he always use gray salt? Hmmm… could it have anything to do with the fact he sells tons of it on his website?…
http://www.napastyle.com/store/product.jsp?sku=006
The key to a good ad is one you don’t realize you are watching.
imparare - I agree.
Jay - good point. I will let others do their thing as soon as you let others do ours. So assuming you follow your own advice, you will now go away and never come back, right? Sorry to hand your shit to you on a platter like that, but hey, outsmarting RR fans is about as easy as, well, thinking up her recipes.
jenna - well put.
Eize - wonderful comments, and thanks for your support, and letting me know I am going global here. I remember the Iron Chef with the turkey sorbet. I was scared to death of that. However, there was an iron chef where I saw the challenger win - Jose Andres took Bobby Flay to town in Battle Goat. It was awesome. An ass-kicking of Biblical proportions. I loved it.
The “R&R” thing is the RR fans parroting the slogan for her FOX talk show. You know they can’t be too bright or creative if they are watching that pile of dreck, so yes, they actually spout that shit back at me like it is convincing or interesting. Sigh.
John - I think I sorta see your point, but why don’t I just watch an animated sitcom, which is funnier and more enjoyable?… Instead of forcing a perception of the show on myself to TRY and make myself enjoy it, I think I will just watch that which I enjoy.
lil’mama - point taken, and hope you keep up the cooking thing. Just try to avoid using any RR recipes lest you poison 9000 people in the next 3 weeks…
jdc347 - wow, and I thought Ryan was retarded. I am not a lady, and my picture is clearly posted on the “About Matt” page. Also, I do not watch or stalk the Food Network seeing as how it is not a good Channel. Unlike most RR haters, I actually never watch her. She is too terrible to consume. So there you go, you have won the battle. I am not a viewer. Hardly changes the fact that she still sucks though does it?…
Chad - yes, I have heard of this phenomenon on that show, though again, I never watch her, so I have never seen it. I am thrilled though that people keep track of things like that just to make sure the $40 thing is accurate. Way to go people - keep TV honest!
Steve - yes, Ryan was lovably retarded, but now we seem to have jdc347 raising (lowering?) the bar for us once again.
flairbrtndr - again, I have not witnessed it, but if it is indeed true (which I assume it is since so many people mention it) then she should be ashamed of herself. Even more so than for her show.
Young N - this will drive jdc347 into a rage, but I have very rarely seen her show. See, I really just don’t watch the Food Network all that much because it is not good. Now, on the other hand, from what I have seen of her, she seems rather innocuous, which I think is exactly why she is not on in “prime time”. She is not a “character”, she is just a good cook. As a result, the old format of her show, person in front of a stove just teaching you what to do, will not cut it with the food network execs. And that is kind of a shame - where skilled teaching is pushed to the back burner (metaphor intended) in favor of some epileptic misfit who can’t cook.
janaynay - not the most eloquent of agreements I have received, but I will take what I can get.
Kim said,
May 8, 2007 at 1:10 pm
I’m lovin’ it. I just spent my entire 4th period class reading this [still a senior in highschool
, haha]. I’ll admit, I like, or well.. liked, watching FN up until I read this. You really opened my eyes. I never realized the racism or lack of variety til now. Thank you for showing me the light!
matt said,
May 8, 2007 at 3:54 pm
I FUCKING HATE RACHEAL RAY. THANK YOU FOR THIS PAGE. YOU MADE MY DAY MAN.
Jarysel Guerrero said,
May 8, 2007 at 6:52 pm
Stop hatin on her !! Get off your fat ass (i saw u on E by the way.Now i understand why the heck you focus on this chick so much.Ur fat ass cant get out the seat) what u give to this world will give right back to you.
Kim said,
May 8, 2007 at 10:58 pm
Haha, too bad this retard thinks you are the ‘woman’ (who knew Matt was a female name?) who was interviewed by E! for RR’s True Hollywood Story. Regaurdless, the part where they focused on her hate groups was the best segment in the entire show.
Eize said,
May 9, 2007 at 10:13 am
You mean to tell me a challenger actually WON?!? Damn–our local channel still doesn’t have new episodes. :/
The R&R thing? I taught English for a few years, so the R&R = Rachel Ray does not compute. Give me a migraine attack, eck!
nikki said,
May 9, 2007 at 11:00 pm
wow u guys have way to much time on your hands i seen the owner of this website and she should be actually cooking one of rr recipes to stay fit GO RACHEL RAY I LOVE YOU AND UR SHOW!!
Cis said,
May 9, 2007 at 11:01 pm
Your site is very entertaining! Some of RR recipes are OK. I like how she grills steak for “date night”. Since I grew up without a mother, RRs show has taught me how to cook simple and quick things. And, NO, I do not use EVOO!
I agree with comments about Paula Deen. She is a DIRTY OLD WOMAN! Not to mention uneducated, which is most likely why she doesn’t realize how classless she looks (is) when coming on to male audience members. Have you noticed that her boys have no personalities. Maybe they don’t have any face muscles or teeth! They have to be embarrased to death about their mother’s behavior.
Sandra Lee’s story is
Maria St. Clair said,
May 9, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Don’t you have anything better to do than trash people that have never done anything to you? If you don’t like them, just change the channel! Isn’t there some cause that is more worthy of your time and effort…the fight against cancer maybe…it would be wonderful if you put all your passion into something that made a real difference in our world.
Kim said,
May 9, 2007 at 11:28 pm
Once again.. someone who thinks you are a female. I love this so much. People are soo ridiculous.
Unknown said,
May 10, 2007 at 4:46 am
I agree with ryan stop saying these lies about rachael and the others. I hope these people find out about what you people are saying and sue your ass for slander. Your site needs to be shut down and for the person who made the website rachael ray sucks needs to get a life and lose some of that whale blubber. Leave these people alone they are wonderful cooks and i love them all you jealous assholes who need to maybe have a life instead of spending your life making fun of people you don’t even know.
Matt said,
May 10, 2007 at 11:38 am
OK, I think I sorta get what is going on here…
Kim - If I helped to change one mind for the better, my work here is done.
matt (a different one than myself) - while there is no need to shout, I am glad you agree with me.
Jarysel Guerrero - again not understanding who I am. I have never been on E, or do I want to be… but like I said, I think I get what is going on here… (more on this later…)
Kim - yes, this is what I am putting together. They think I am in charge of one of her hate groups. I just happen to hate her, but only run this site. I don’t expect many RR supporters to be smart enough to figure this out, but more on this later…
Eize - no, it makes no sense, but neither does RR’s popularity. Go figure.
nikki - no you have not seen the owner of this site because I am not a “she”. I am also not particularly overweight. Do more research.
Cis - excellent comments on Paula Deen, though I do like her sons. But yes, if I were them, I would be mortified by how my mom was acting on national TV. They need to lock her liquor cabinet right away.
Maria St. Clair - don’t you have anything better to do than comment on blogs of people you never met? If you don’t like it, click on another link! (Wow - your argument works both ways, huh?…)
Kim - yes, people are.
Unknown - first of all, this website would constitute libel, not slander, but that is another discussion in and of itself. That being said, I please offer you - as I did Ryan who immediately chickened out - the opportunity to have my site shut down. Please send my site to those who would want to do that. I beg, nay dare, you to try. But the jealousy thing is really sad. If I were jealous of Rachael, I might be trying to get my own show or something, but no, I am just content with being my own chef for my own career which I am very happy with. RR can do her thing, and I will do mine - but I will say what I like about her. Just as she can feel free to say what she wants about me.
And now for how to deal with you all who can’t figure it out:
I AM NOT the person who created the (wonderful) Rachael Ray Sucks Community. While I do love the site, and am a member, but this is not that site. Furthermore, I am NOT a woman, and you have NOT appeared on E’s True Hollywood Story about Rachael Ray. To help sink this point in, I am closing comments on this post for a week so you all can read this paragraph over and over to drive in into your tiny brains. If you want the RR Sucks Community, you must go here:
http://community.livejournal.com/rachael_ray_sux/
Do you all get it yet? I doubt it, but it is worth a shot all the same. See you all in a week.
JUAN ORTEGA said,
May 19, 2007 at 12:10 am
After reading all this vitriol towards the FN or Rachael all I got was a headache.Give it up already.Dont be mad at Rachael because she makes more in a week than you make in two years.Dont be angry because your girlfriend can probably make an onion cry.I’ll bet that when you were in grade school your specialty was “mother ranking”i.e. your mamma is like a doorknob..everyone gets a turn.Grow up and do something constructive with your life.
degreefoodie said,
May 19, 2007 at 3:07 am
Ooohhh…Mat…Please allow me to respond to Juan “Valdez” (LOL)
Well, I think I can speak for everyone here that we aren’t “mad” at her for her “30 minutes” of fame. We just see her for the fraudulent, drunken, bar hag, that is she.
As for the onion comment, I can cook circles around the Roach. My time is spent very constructively as evidenced by the fact that my financial status, i.e. bank account, isn’t very much less than hers ( hence I can surf the web at all times of the day or night) and I didn’t have to rely on the strength of my knees, limb agility, or swallowing ability to get where I am. I just know how to turn a hard earned salary into very good investments.
In grade school, I was able to graduate 1 day before my 16th birthday due to my high IQ and I didn’t waste my intelligence on “yo mama jokes” though I would venture to guess I could make you cry with what I could say about you and your mama if I were to stoop so low.
As long as I pay for cable, I’ll decide what I watch and don’t watch and what I comment about and if that means exposing the Chicken Stock-EVOO-Nutmeg twit for what she is, I will contine to do so until my heart’s content.
Kisses!
THE VIN-MAN said,
May 19, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Hey Matt: After reading some of these letters,I see that you reply to your mail.Thats a good thing.It shows your passion for creating this page.What bewilders me is why? I’ve been watching RR for a long time and never formed an opinion one way or the other.Its just TV.When I felt like watching a cooking show I chose her for no other reason that she was better to look at than Graham Kerr or Justin Wilson.After reading your bio,I see that your an above average educated man. You have formal training in cooking which qualifies you to critique RR’s style.,which you have every right to do.I just cant figure out the velocity of your hatred. Your an intelligent man I really dont believe you really HATE her..That concept doesnt compute in my brain. Theres people in my life that I dislike immensly but I just dont have the capacity to HATE>.You said in your response to JUAN that you wont sink to his level and engage in name calling. So why at Rachael.If you have any testosterone in your body you have to admit that at the very least RR isnt bad looking. I realize that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.OK
THE VIN-MAN said,
May 19, 2007 at 5:42 pm
The bottom half of my letter was erased for some reason so here it is OK so RR will probably never be mistaken for Catherine-Zeta jones+but she is far from grotesque. When I see that you condone your responders vile description of her,they make fun of her smile,she has tiny boobs,dirty fingernails,big butt,wears her jeans for five days at a time. I think theres no need for that and I feel that you’re bigger than that. Then they make accusations that she swallowed her way to the top.Remember RR is someones daughter. Can you imagine how her mother must feel when she reads that tripe??If you have a daughter you wouldnt want to read stuff like that about her.I feel you can contribute in a more positive direction if you use your culinary expertice to create better recipes than RR.After all RR is just common folk like you and me who happens to work in an industry thatcares more about fluff than stuff. AS long as the ratings are up do you think they care what she cooks?? Fame is fleeting in show business. RR is at the top of her game right now. Let her enjoy it and leave her alone. who knows with your culinary knowlege you might have a cooking show one day. would you like to have a HATE blog against you? Criticize her if you must jusst dont be mean.
seahorsemar said,
May 23, 2007 at 1:31 am
Love this site! You and I share the same opinion on most of these people so just a couple additional comments. I could only take Rachael a couple shows before her brassy, grating voice and gym teacher movements became too much for me. Looks like Giada went to some second rate beauty school to learn that BIG, fake, pulled back to the jawline smile. Yes, I did notice (how could one not) that on every show, she SHOWS what she’s got on top. I thought we were suppose to be concentrating on the food?! I NEVER watch Bobby because of his ego - flaming red hair AND flaming ego is just too much. I do enjoy Alton and the new cake decorating show
When I want a recipe, I usually go to allrecipes.com.
Ana said,
May 23, 2007 at 1:33 am
I am glad you are back Matt.
Amanda said,
May 23, 2007 at 9:20 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I saw you on TV and you are a fat ass, so before you start making fun of other people take a look in the mirror and think about all of things people make fun of you for. Get a life, I bet you are a miserable SOB. Do you have many friends, or did they all ditch you because your so miserable and negative? Are you single? Probably. When’s the last time you got laid? Ahhh, that would explain all the hating on the other people. Go ahead, keep sitting on your fat ass eating little debbie’s and big bowls of pasta with butter making fun of successful, happy people. Keeping starring down Giada’s shirt and wishing Rachael Ray’s mouth could be near you. You are pathetic and you are not a good person. I hope you wake up one day and find some inner peace and then apologize for all the horrible things you say. It is one thing to have an opinion, it is quite another to create a website to trash talk other people. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Amanda said,
May 23, 2007 at 9:20 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I saw you on TV and you are a fat ass, so before you start making fun of other people take a look in the mirror and think about all of things people make fun of you for. Get a life, I bet you are a miserable SOB. Do you have many friends, or did they all ditch you because your so miserable and negative? Are you single? Probably. When’s the last time you got laid? Ahhh, that would explain all the hating on the other people. Go ahead, keep sitting on your fat ass eating little debbie’s and big bowls of pasta with butter making fun of successful, happy people. Keeping starring down Giada’s shirt and wishing Rachael Ray’s mouth could be near you. You are pathetic and you are not a good person. I hope you wake up one day and find some inner peace and then apologize for all the horrible things you say. It is one thing to have an opinion, it is quite another to create a website to trash talk other people. You should be ashamed of yourself.
THE VIN-MAN said,
May 23, 2007 at 9:45 pm
jYO MATT..Why am I here,I really dont know.I just feel compelled to come to RR’s defense.I’m not a fan but I’m not a hater either.Maybe its the same impedious that made you intervene back in high school when you saw the class bully fuckin with someone who couldnt defend himself.Im still trying to figure out why so much time and energy is directed at slamming RR.Whats happening on this website is fodder for a term paper on the human psyche.It is evident that most of the disenchantment towards RR is coming from professionally trained chefs.Maybe you’re taking the wrong approach toward this. You are judging her from a chefs point of view.Remember she is not a chef and she is the first one to say so.RR is constantly reminding us of that fact.So to rebuke the accusation that she is a fraudulent lying twat.The facts stand alone.Shes not trying to make us think that she is something she isn’t.She also is not creating “crap” as most of the bloggers so eloquently state.She is just recreating the recipes that were handed down to her from her mom.To her this food is from heaven because its what she grew up on.It might not appeal to the masses but have you ever walked down the Aisan aisle of a Global Food Market? Some of the stuff they eat makes you feel like your on “FEAR FACTOR”I’m sure that some of the best meals your mom made for you,the food that triggers fond memories might not appeal to everyone.So redirect your criticism..As a parent myself the fact that RR frequently mentions her mom I would take as a compliment.That would tell me that she comes from a somewhat “functional” family.One of your responders mentioned that she was pleasantly surprised when she met Bobby Flay. She said he was nothing like she expected.Who knows, maybe just maybe the arm waving,the acronyms,the yum-o’s the sammys are just her schtick?Maybe meeting her might pleasantly surprise you.Personally I think RR is probably a fun date.I’d love to go drinking with her.Just one more thing. Pro Rachael people are referred to as lemmings.Not to be argumentative or inflammatory but arent the haters lemmings in reverse.They seem to feed off one anothers vitriol.That being said why dont we all sit back,take a deep breath and say something that inspires people rather than tear them down.Making someone smile feels a lot better than making someone cry.Like I said in my first letter..Criticize her if you must just dont be mean.
Ana said,
May 23, 2007 at 10:10 pm
Sorry Matt, but I guess they are not getting it, they cannot figure it out. Despite what you wrote last week.
jenna said,
May 23, 2007 at 10:33 pm
Amanda-For the love of Pete….read slower and try to retain the info. This is not the RRSucks site. That is another site completely. This site belongs to a guy. His name is Matt.
How can this many people still not have a complete brain among them?
I feel like it would just be easier to say; I know you are, but what am I?
Here: I’ll answer for you and take all the fun out of it: I’m an inconsiderate jerk who hates on Rachael all the time. I make fun of her food, her speech patterns, her very existence. Why? because I can and because I know somewhere some idiot is bashing in his/her computer screen while screaming at it because I made them angry with all my negative comments to Miss RR.
*hurls poop in the air and runs away*
THE VIN-MAN said,
May 23, 2007 at 11:19 pm
Hey Matt.Before someone injects a comment after mine,I have to set the record straight. After re-reading my comment,in the third sentence I used the word impedious.I havent a fuckin clue what that word means,if in fact it is a word.I’m sure you know what I meant…….LATER…THE VIN-MAN
THE VIN-MAN said,
May 23, 2007 at 11:34 pm
HEY JENNA..I totally agree whith you in your response to Amanda.Unless we’re missing something, I never met a woman named Matt.Maybe he should post his picture in the top of this page.I dont regard this site as RRSUX blog,I just had to vent and this site seemed the most friendly to do it in..Hey all you future responders..Matt is a man.not that “FULL-FIGURED “gal you saw on the “E” channel. PEACE..OUT!!!
OVER THE ROAD19 said,
May 24, 2007 at 9:38 pm
ANA..Your reply can only lead me to one conclusion.You’ve got to be constipated.Take two ex-lax and reply again in the morning..It might behove you to make sure you take your MIDOLS before you reply.
Ana said,
May 24, 2007 at 11:16 pm
And you better read before you post something in here. Do not get personal with me.
Gons said,
May 28, 2007 at 12:04 pm
hahaha…Rachael Ray is the cream of the crop…and she looks fantastic..yall should get a life and stop hating…it all started with that fat pig looking bitch who went on E and said she hated Jazz hands. Yall need to stop…i bet all of u guys are unattracted fools…with noooooooooooo life….Jazz hands!!!
OVER THE ROAD19 said,
May 29, 2007 at 9:32 pm
ANA..Please accept my sincerest apology for my previous statement.It was nothing personal,just the result of too many tequilas.,boredom and a little anger for coming up on the short end of an evening that had all the earmarks of ending with a home run.(If you know what I mean.)The downside of getting “shitfaced” is retraceing your steps and apologizing to all the people you acted like an asshole in front of.Again..sorry .You’re probably good people.
wynton curliano said,
May 30, 2007 at 2:34 am
you people are all just losers with no resemblance of a life. You all are crappy chiefs who have to make fun of awesome cooks just to feel like your crap only takes like shit. I love Racheal Ray and all the food network chiefs, and im only 16. So why don’t all of you lazy, self-concious, losers get off your butts and do something about your lifes, and stop wasting your time making fun of these cool, fun, and friendly chiefs. And to the dumb broad who posted that long rant, you were in the same position as these amatuer cheifs at one point, and you still probally suck, so dont make fun of them.
wynton curliano said,
May 30, 2007 at 2:41 am
GOD YOU FREAKS GET SOME FREAKING LIVES!!!!
Eize said,
May 30, 2007 at 5:41 am
wynton, LEARN HOW TO SPELL!!!
And while you’re at it, learn how to read. That includes you, Amanda.
Matt, it’s getting out of hand.
Matt said,
May 31, 2007 at 9:35 pm
I could reply to all the comments here, but I just don’t have the time, nor do I any longer really have the interest…
So I present to you:
THE FINAL WORD
(and I get to say it because it is my blog.)
Simply put, I wrote this post for two reasons:
1. I had an opinion, a slightly more educated one maybe, but just an opinion, and I wanted to get it out there.
2. I knew this would generate some replies, and I wanted to see just “what kind of person” is a fan of Food Network.
For point 1, I was satiated the moment I hit “publish” in my blog software. For point 2, I know have a very clear answer. You, the collective supporters of Rachael Ray et al. have proven collectively to be some the most vapid, inarticulate and truly uninteresting people I have ever exposed myself to. Seriously, go back and re-read (if your attention span can last that long) all these comments. You all are pathetic and should be ashamed of yourselves. Rehashing the same “arguments” over and over and all without a hint of proper grammar or spelling.
It is just sad, and I pity the lot of you.
That all being said, thank you all to my new-found fans who came to my site through this article, and I hope that everyone - fan or not - will actually keep reading the new stuff going on within this story. It is so much more interesting than this rant. I promise you, it really is.
And for those of you who say I am “chickening out” by closing comments, please remember, I post my email address at the end of every article, and you are welcome to write me any time. Here is my email again to help you out: matt1@finarelli.com.
But please, only bother to write me if you have something NEW to say. If I see the same old crap already written here, I promise you, all you will be doing is giving my delete key a well needed work-out.
But to all you fans, thanks so much for your support and interest. You all are the reason I keep on writing! All the best to you all!
Matt