04.26.07
Posted in Other Fun at 11:01 pm by Chef Matt
I’m going to Istanbul. (Not Constantinople) |
Hey there Deglazed fans, I am off to Turkey for the next week and a half, so alas, no updates for a little while. (This is going to totally ruin my blog rankings…) I am excited to sample all of the great culinary wonders of Istanbul, and hopefully I will be able to return with some great culinary finds for my kitchen. If I’m lucky enough to find an internet cafe, I can provide you all with an update from the road, but otherwise I will be back in the country on May 7. I’ll be sure to provide you all with the highlights of the trip - especially the food - for you then.
I promise you there are big updates that will be revealed when I return, but until then, this would be a great time to tour through earlier posts (get caught up on the story) and to vote for Deglazed in the Blogger’s Choice Awards! Clicking on ads while I’m gone will help me pay for the trip, so that would be cool as well…
Thank you all for being such great readers, and I will see you all soon!
Matt
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04.25.07
Posted in The Story at 12:05 am by Chef Matt
My cell phone rang at 7:40 AM this morning.
This would normally annoy me to no end as that is time I usually have reserved for sleeping, but I was up this particular morning. I was going in with the early shift today. Because I am going on vacation next week, I am a prime candidate for putting in extra hours. And extra help is what they needed on the catering side of things this morning. I was dressed up in full chef’s regalia, and was preparing to get in my car, but the ringing tone from my pocket stopped me.
“Hello?” I was barely able to murmur seeing as how I was not fully awake yet.
For those of you who don’t know your cuts of pasta, this is rigatoni… |
“Hey Matt, it’s Amy, can you pick up six boxes of rigatoni noodles on your way in this morning?”
“Six boxes of rigatoni?” I repeated back to make sure I had heard her right so there would be no mistakes.
“Yeah, and be sure to keep you receipt so we can get you cash back.”
“Gotcha.”
While this would of course make me late for work, this was not a big deal since they at least knew why I would be late. But there was an entirely different problem with this early morning request Amy had made: I was now going to have to go food shopping in chef’s clothes.
Imagine you are on a golf course and you see Tiger Woods walking by. You might take the opportunity to ask him a question about how to get out of a sand trap. Or imagine you are skateboarding and Tony Hawk walks (skates) by. You would probably ask him how to land a 360 indy nose bone.
Now imagine you are shopping for food, and a chef walks by…
I have no idea why women approach me when I am cooking…
(Good lord no, this is not me!) |
I don’t know why this always happens to me, I guess I just have that “approachable” look to me, but I cannot go into a grocery store in the chef’s uniform without someone asking me a question about something. This morning was no exception.
I walked straight to the pasta aisle as fast as I could to hopefully get in and out without being seen. I needed to get a mere six boxes of rigatoni, so this should be easy. The problem was there was no one brand that had 6 boxes of rigatoni on the shelf. I didn’t particularly want to mix and match brands as different brands have different cooking times, but as I scanned each brand’s stock, it was looking like I would have no choice. There was NO WAY I was going to stick around to ask a clerk to check the back room for more of any brand’s rigatoni. That would just be asking for disaster. So I picked as much of the brand that is generally the best (Barilla) as I could, and then one more of another brand (San Giorgio).
This meant cleaning out the shelf of Barilla rigatoni. And this was an action that did not go unnoticed.
“So, that’s the best brand there then?”
Damn.
“Yeah, I tend to think so,” I replied as nicely as possible to the lady standing behind me. She was obviously looking for someone to talk to, and I was the target.
“What are you planning to do with all that?”
I was caught with my pants down on this one. I actually had no clue what Amy wanted this for. I was just told to pick up six boxes of rigatoni (it was “rigatoni”, right?…) but not why. So now I was the “expert” cleaning out a shelf of pasta at 8 in the morning, and I had to tell this nice lady that I didn’t have the remotest idea why I was doing it.
“Ummm, I’m actually not sure.” This answer was not the one she was expecting or desiring. She gave a sort-of frown to tell me such. “See, another chef asked me to pick this up for them - I ‘m just the carrier here.”
From “expert” to “The Swedish Chef” instantly! |
And that broke the spell! I was no longer an “expert”. I had made myself into just some second-rate dumbass in stupid pants. The nice lady thanked me, wished me luck, and moved on. Somehow I had gotten out of what would have surely been a 10-minute conversation by just playing dumb. And I wasn’t even playing! This is a trick I will have to remember for the future.
I arrived at work at the ungodly early hour of 8:10AM and got right to work. I was preparing salmon Caesar salads, and I roasted the salmon with a little lemon and dill for an extra flavor kick (it was awesome). I then loaded up the van and along with Jose I headed out to make the delivery, which was to be followed by a trip to Restaurant Depot.
This photo is not truly representative of the experience as there are not three more forklifts coming right at you. |
The delivery was pretty routine, so I will fast forward to Restaurant Depot. For those of you who have not been, Restaurant Depot is like Sam’s Club for restaurant owners. Everything is there in one large, dimly-lit stock room with forklifts buzzing around you like mosquitoes at a July 4th picnic. You can get pretty much anything there you need to run your restaurant from cases of soda to packets of jelly to those spinning hot dog cooking machines. It was crowded, bustling and quite overwhelming at first. Fortunately Jose was a regular, and knew where most things on the list were, so we were able to load up our racks pretty quickly. At the end of the day, the cost of all the equipment we had ordered was quite considerable, and was a real eye-opener to me about how expensive it really is to run a restaurant/catering business. But you gotta spend money to make money, right?
The best part about shopping in Restaurant Depot? There are LOTS of people in there wearing chef’s outfits! Not one person asked me a single question about what I was buying. 
Back at the restaurant, I had to help unload the van, and the lack of sleep was starting to get to me. Jay took pity on me and said I could swing on home for a little bit if I wanted. He didn’t have to ask twice. I treated myself to a nice, leisurely break.
For just a mere 45 minutes.
Then it was time for me to finally go to work, because after all, I’m supposed to be working the late shift.
Matt
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04.20.07
Posted in Reviews at 11:20 am by Chef Matt
I just took a trip back down to Durham, NC - where I went to college - just to see some old friends who still lived there. Some of them have babies now, so it was good to meet them as well, but when asked what it was I wanted to do there by my host, I told him that I had to get some Barbeque.
Barbecue, slaw, hush puppies and sweet tea.
This pig did not die in vain. |
I can still remember my first experience with this sublime pork dish. On my first trip to North Carolina, back when I was nine, my parents mentioned in the car that they wanted to “get some barbecue”, which was a sentence that made no sense to me since I had only ever heard the word “barbecue” used as a verb up until then. I couldn’t imagine what it was they were trying to get… a grill? The coals? It made no sense to me until I was handed my first sandwich.
Covered in a Central Carolina sauce that had just the right heat levels and tons of Dixie slaw, this was love at first bite. Perhaps it was this sandwich that helped me ultimately decide to go to Duke. Either way, upon any return back south, barbecue is what I head for.
The best barbecue in Durham is of course Bullock’s Bar-B-Que. Their amazing “family style” presentation - which is all I have ever ordered there - is a feast that usually leaves me unable to walk away from the table. The selection is wide, and it is all-you-can-eat. The dishes include:
- Barbecue - of course. Shredded pork shoulder cooked all day, and served with a fantastic Central Carolina style sauce that is one of the better ones I have ever had.
- Fried Chicken - Their recipe is simple, but they cook it perfectly. About the juiciest I have ever had. (Besides my own buttermilk fried chicken of course…)
- Brunswick stew - Bullock’s was the first place I ever had this dish that is still contested between Virginia and North Carolina as to it’s origins. I don’t care where it is from originally, I am only concerned with where I can get more of it now. It is a favorite of mine.
- Dixie slaw - this is the sweet cole slaw variety, which is a perfect side note to any spicy barbecue
- Green Beans - Done in the southern style, which means cooked forever. Not my favorite, but you gotta have some vegetable matter when eating this much meat.
- French Fries - If you must have a starch, might as well fry it first! (This goes for the hush puppies on the table too…)
No, Brunswick stew isn’t much to look at, but the flavor more than makes up for it. |
But alas, this sojourn was made over a Sunday and Monday, and guess which two days Bullock’s is closed? So I was unable to partake of this feast this time down, but my hosts - Mike and Carrie - were able to scare me up some from another local purveyor: The Q Shack. No, it was no family style in the crowded booths of Bullock’s, but surrounded by good friends and chowing down on way too much pork is a good time no matter where you do it.
I think I need to make that my motto…
For a total change of pace, on the next night, Mike and Carrie invited me out to Starlu restaurant to sit at the Chef’s Table and watch Chef Sam Poley at work. Sam has a background story similar to mine in that he went into the work-a-day world (though in different fields) but found that cooking was his true calling. And it is a good thing he recognized this, as he is wonderfully creative with food, an amazing host to his guests, and runs his kitchen with both professional efficiency and theatrical flair.
Chef Sam Poley – our host for the evening.
(Photo taken from the Starlu website) |
I had been to Starlu before, back before I became a chef, and Sam took a good part of his time to show me around his restaurant and tell me all about what it was like to start a place from scratch, and what I would be expecting as I came into this business. Upon my return on this latest trip, he immediately recognized me, and was happy to know I had entered the business. (He was also a bit jealous to learn that the restaurant I work at enjoys about two full turns of the dining room every Friday and Saturday night… )
We sidled up to the bar that is the chef’s table, and were informed as to the menu for the evening. It sounded heavenly, and Mike asked Sam for the wine recommendations. After all, if the chef made the food, surely he would know best which wines to pair with it, right? It is that kind of trust in a chef’s abilities that makes dining at the chef’s table ideal. To let yourself go and put your palate in the care of one who knows more than you is the ultimate form of dining for me - and as I chef I appreciate the customers who are able to do this as well.
The first course was a deep and smoky corn chowder with spicy chorizo and truffle oil. The flavors played wonderfully together, and the creamy base of the soup was a great way to start things off. The garnish was deep-fried tomato skin - a trick that was lovely to look at, full of tomato flavor, and one I will surely steal for myself someday. 
Paired with a wonderfully crisp Sancerre that had an amazingly dry finish, I was almost afraid the meal couldn’t get any better.
The next course proved me wrong, and never was I so glad to have underestimated a chef! Toasted ciabatta was topped with a half wheel of goat camembert cheese. Topped with green onion puree, oven-dried tomatoes, marinated anchovies and roasted garlic oil, this was another amazingly rich dish, but I was still hungry for more.
A new bottle of wine accompanied the next course to the table, a mild-mannered Petit Verdot that at first under-whelmed me, but I soon saw how well it paired with the dish in front of us. Butternut squash and current sauce surrounded a carrot puree wrapped with ham and was topped with a decadent slice of fish that alas, I cannot remember which type. I think the wine may have been getting to me at this point, but seeing as how I am a chef, not a professional restaurant reviewer, I wasn’t taking notes while I ate… It was a rich white-fleshed fish that was grilled to perfection, and the its salty firmness acted as a wonderful contrast to the smooth creaminess of the carrots resulting in a perfect match.
OK, so maybe this is a bit too rare… |
Just when we were starting to think we may be done though, out came the moo-shi wraps accompanied by soy-glazed ahi tuna. There is only one way to serve tuna this good, and that is super-rare. And that is just what we got. The Vietnamese hot sauce on the plate provided a spice burst that could not be ignored, and provided as good an excuse as any to wash down the remaining wine.
Dessert was a chocolate mousse with a Mexican chocolate brownie that was admittedly difficult to fit down on top of all the other great food. However, I have long believed that dessert actually goes into a different stomach in our bodies, so there is always room for something sweet to finish off a great meal.
It dawned on me later that night how I had experienced two amazing meals on this trip - one served out of styrofoam to-go boxes and eaten with plastic forks, while the other was carefully created and painstakingly plated by a fabulous chef given total creative license. I have always considered the qualifying factor that determines a “great cuisine” to be one where you can find great food at both the high end and the low end of their spectrums. (Italian is a perfect example of this, and is of course recognized as a great world cuisine.)
Perhaps it is time to start thinking of “Southern” in same light?…
Matt
(Cross posted on EatFoo.)
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04.12.07
Posted in Greatest Hits, Other Fun at 10:34 am by Chef Matt
A few stories here that relate to other great blogs you should be reading. First off, to my good friends at the Rachael Ray Sucks Community I want to share this funny story. The other night in the kitchen, Dave (another chef) made a squirt bottle of extra virgin olive oil for use in dressing a new menu item. He is no fan of Rachael Ray’s either, but as a joke, he slapped a large piece of masking tape on the bottle and wrote “EVOO” on the bottle.
I took one look at that and was heard to proclaim, “Oh HELL no!”
Me with our newly-christened Extra Virgin Olive Oil bottle. |
The offending piece of tape was quickly removed, and replaced by an even larger one that read: “EVOOMGSTFU!” In honor of the great acronym from on the RR Sux site, which of course stands for “EVOOh-My-God-Shut-The-Fuck-Up”! It is now the kitchen standard for our extra virgin olive oil bottle. (They also offer it on a T-shirt that I really need to buy…)
The funny part came as our dishwasher Greg saw the bottle last night and was looking at the label. He is not a chef of course, and I doubt he is a regular reader of anything to do with Rachael Ray - one way or the other - so this long acronym made little sense to him at first.
Finally he looked at Dave and asked, “So what does this mean? Does it stand for ‘Extra-Virgin-Olive-Oil-Mixed-Green-Sauce-Together-For-Us?‘”
It was quite some time before we all stopped laughing. Thank God it came during a quiet spell.
Any excuse to put a photo of bacon up is a good one! |
Next, I want to give a big “Thank you!” shout-out to Heather of Bacon Unwrapped. She has been a fan of this blog for a while, and I have been a fan of hers as well, but she took the big step last night to come in to Restaurant Vero with some friends!
I should have recognized their order, as the three of them all ordered pork dishes…
But I was able to come out and meet her just before desserts, and it was great to finally put a face with the name. I shared one of my bacon band-aids (that I now carry on me at all times in the kitchen) with her as a gift to thank her for linking to me, and for making the trip all the way across the Potomac just to see me. Oh, and to enjoy our braised pork shank as well…
Thanks Heather! I hope dessert was great for you as well!
You ALL deserve this.
Thanks so much! |
Finally, I also want to give a tremendous shout-out to all the great people out there - too many to name and count - who have been voting for me in the Best of Blogs Awards. There are just a few days left in the voting, and I would love to see your continued support. I wish I could list you all here, and give each and every one of you a gold star of your own. But I guess this one will just have to do as a collective one. Thanks everyone!
Matt
P.S. Also, I have to send a shout-out to Lia Bulaong at Serious Eats for picking up this story and sending hundreds of new readers to my site. You are welcome here Serious Eaters, and I hope you become regular readers!
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04.10.07
Posted in The Story at 12:11 pm by Chef Matt
Some say you can never go home again, and since I had left Cafe Tirolo back in November, I had not been back. Yes, even though it is my next door neighbor who runs the place, and I was friends with many of the people there, I just hadn’t had a chance to be back.
It was my last meal there, and my first meal back. They really are great. |
I am not sure if it was because I was so busy all the time, or if it was because I just needed some time to put the experience behind me. Either way, I found myself in Arlington yesterday around noon, so I thought I would drop by for one of my beloved chicken parm subs.
It is still cold here in DC, so there was not a huge crowd, but the indoor seating was still pretty full. That is good, since it says to me that business is about as good as can be expected for this cafe whose pace of production is based heavily on the climate. I walked up to the counter, and there was Sarah taking orders. She of course recognized me, and was happy to see me. I looked behind the counter to the cooking area, and I did not recognize a single person back there. The turnover had been complete since my departure - and that was only four and a half months ago.
There was a bit of a line, so I wasn’t able to go into a long ordeal about how things were going with me, only to tell her that business was busy and I was enjoying my work at Vero. I then asked about Meryem - had she gone back to visit friends and family in Morocco like she had always wanted to?
“I am mad at her,” she replied. “Too much drama from her all the time. I let her go.”
This was a total shock to me. I mean, yes Meryem did produce drama, but she also produced amazing food at an incredible pace. She was the lifeblood of the kitchen, and I thought that when she left, the cafe would suffer greatly.
“When did she leave?” I asked.
“Back in January. She thought we could never make it without her, but we are doing fine, and I like it better now.”
One of them is in this book, or maybe they both are. But I don’t care enough to actually read it… |
Sarah then went on to explain that the whole “not teaching me the sauces” debacle - which was one of the core reasons I had to move on - was because of Meryem. That it was Meryem that didn’t want me to learn how to make the food there. This is an odd recounting of the events, seeing as how Meryem said she would happily email me the recipes… I have no idea who is lying, and who is telling me the truth. The only thing I know is:
I moved on from this place because it was not right for me any more. Playing both sides against the other is indicative of what I was going through on a daily basis near the end of my time there, and I had had enough of that nonsense for lifetime. It was a fabulous first job, and I learned a lot in a very short time - especially since it was so fast-paced and the people were so experienced. But once the drama became too much for me to handle, I moved on and have not looked back.
So I smiled politely at Sarah’s explanation of events, and explained how it didn’t matter too much as I have already created some sauces myself that are now being used at Vero. I placed my order for a chicken parm sub and a Sprite and pulled out my wallet to pay.
“No, that’s OK Matt! You don’t need to pay!”
I guess we’re still good neighbors after all.
It was just at this time that the most regular lunch customer of Cafe Tirolo - Bob - appeared behind me. He recognized me, and I told him how I was doing, and he asked me to join him for lunch. It was really great to have a chance to sit down and enjoy a meal as a customer with a man I had served so many times as a chef. I told him the story of how I had become a chef, and how I was enjoying this next place I had moved on to, and he even said he might swing by for dinner some time.
“That would be great Bob, I would love to see you there! Just don’t stop coming here for lunch!”
Maybe I am not THIS good of a neighbor, but I try… |
Gotta take care of those that take care of me. It’s what good neighbors do.
“Oh, I would never do that!” he said. “Even with Vic and Meryem gone, the food is still great here.” And I have to agree. Everything still tasted the same since Sarah religiously followed Vic’s directions and recipes. The faces have changed, but the quality is still the same.
It is amazing how seamlessly things can carry on as new people move in and out of the necessary positions in a restaurant. It’s like the food is there to create itself - it just needs the right people to do it. When we move on, there is always someone ready to take our place and be the next person to create those wonderful dishes just like we had before. The proof, as they say, was in the Chicken Parm.
Matt
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04.08.07
Posted in The Story at 4:11 pm by Chef Matt
Well, it was actually my thirty-first birthday, but it was my first one as a chef. I mentioned how only the night before, I had started the wheels turning on quite the practical joke, so I figured that I was due for some serious harassment myself.
I arrived at the regular time, but to stay true to my word, I went into the office first to drop off some flowers for Jackie. She and I had a good laugh about the joke, and she liked the flowers as well. It was while I was talking to her that Joy asked, “What’s that on your hand?…”
I didn’t have a cut, I just had to try one on! |
“That’s my Bacon Band-Aid,” I replied. It was one of the great gifts my wife had given me earlier that day, and was one I had been wanting for quite some time. Yes, they are Band-Aids that look just like strips of bacon. The perfect gift for any chef with an unhealthy obsession with pork products.
They all wished me a happy birthday, and I walked on to the kitchen where I clocked in, and Amy greeted me with some cookies for my special day, and Jay and Edwin were also kind enough to wish me a happy birthday as well. All in all, this was as nice a birthday as I could have asked for or expected.
Throughout my set-up process for the evening I was interrupted by servers coming back into the kitchen and asking me, “Is today your birthday?”
“Yes it is,” would come the reply from me.
“Happy Birthday! How old are you?”
“How old do you think I am?…”
Personally, I don’t think I look a day over 34… |
I like setting myself up in this way if only because it is the only accurate way to know if I am looking old. Most of the guesses were pretty much right on the money give or take a year or two. God bless the one person who guessed 27, and curses to the one who guessed 36…
We all enjoyed a simple and quite tasty family meal of assorted leftovers from around the kitchen, and I was just about to put the last touches on my Friday night prep when someone behind me suddenly began to sing “Happy Birthday”.
“That’s odd,” I thought to myself as I continued to walk towards the sheet pan rack.
Then it sounded like 3 people singing.
“Hey, wait a minute… today is MY birthday…”
Now the whole kitchen seemed to be singing together.
“Maybe I should turn around…”
Look closely. It’s a little-known secret that the Carvel Santa Claus and “Fudgie the Whale” cakes are made in the same mold. |
Yes, there was a cake being carried into the kitchen by the entire front of the house crew. Complete with five candles and “Happy Berthday (sic) Matt” scrawled in blue frosting across top. But this was not just any old cake. It was a Carvel ice cream cake. Ice cream and frosting together in one cake. If ever there were an enemy of the American Heart Association, this would be it. That’s what makes them so damn good.
We pretty much plowed through the block of ice cream (I made sure Brian had an extra piece), and with all of our collective tongues now a bluish shade of green thanks to the frosting, we cleaned up and got ready for the crush of a Friday night to descend upon us.
But before that could happen, Veronica came back into the kitchen and handed me a very nice bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon.
“Happy Birthday Matt!” she smiled.
I really was at a loss for words at this point. Where was the practical joke to be played on me? The extra clean-up work, the finger full of frosting in my ear, the dirty spoon slid down the back of my shirt? I really expected to be taken to town, and instead I was treated to one of the nicest birthdays I have ever had. Here I was in the midst of some incredible kindness, and all I could think about was when the other shoe would drop. But it never did.
I guess the joke was on me after all…
But all the same - I just want to publicly say to everyone involved “thank you!” for such a wonderful birthday. It really goes to show how much of a family we can all become in a restaurant, and you made me feel like a part of that. Now of course, I just have to learn whose birthday is coming up next, so I can get them an ice cream cake. Gotta get me another piece of that!
Matt
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04.06.07
Posted in The Story at 11:26 am by Chef Matt
The jokes that are told in the kitchen are generally of the type that I won’t be sharing here. Mainly because my mother reads this blog, and because I am sure you have heard all these jokes before at one time or another. If you want some examples of the humor styles exhibited, you can always read my latest kitchen humor post.
Yes, the jokes are even better than the good old Whoopee Cushion… |
But the really fun jokes of a kitchen are the practical jokes. It is a non-stop effort by all people who work in a kitchen to try and fool everybody else. From simple bullshitting (”Hey, we have a party of 15 coming in tonight, get ready for it!”), to sending people on a wild goose chase (”Take this bucket and go get me a live lobster from the basement.”), some of the best kitchen humor comes in the form of making somebody feel like a fool.
The simplest example is the aforementioned “can you get [blank] for me?” prank. The new person is asked to go get something that does not exist, but because they are new and eager to please (and don’t want to be fired) they will search high and low for the non-existent El Dorado they have been charged with finding. This prank was even pulled on my wife on her first experience of working at Vero. I could have protected her from it, but it is just too damn funny. The key to this prank is timing. The restaurant has to be busy to add a sense of urgency to the request, and to make it believable that the person requesting it: a) needs the item now and b) can’t go get it him/herself.
Example used on my wife: “Hey Caroline, can you go downstairs and get me some clean napkins from the basement?” This was done with a vague point in a direction where the basement supposedly would be found. The prank puller (Jay in this case) then went back to work, looking furiously busy. So Caroline went off in the direction he pointed looking for the basement door. The only catch - Vero has no basement. But that didn’t stop her from opening any door she could find to see which one had the magic stairs leading down. When she returned in a panic asking where the basement was, we all let her off the hook… and I then slept on the couch for a week for laughing at the joke.
The series of pranks on this theme are never-ending in a kitchen, so you have to be constantly on your guard to figure out if what you are being told is the truth (in which case you must do it quickly), or if it is bullshit (in which case you must blow it off). Choose wisely…
Last night though, I decided to start a prank like this that snowballed into something truly magical. Our busboy, Brian, was in the kitchen refilling a series of water pitchers when I tossed him a simple line of bullshit on a whim.
“So Brian, are you coming in to work brunch on Easter Sunday?”
Pranks involving Easter are awesome… |
Of course there is no brunch on Easter Sunday since we are never open on Sundays, let alone Sundays that are holidays. But I figured maybe I could get him going for a second or two. He expressed disbelief at first (good gut reaction to his credit), but I pushed the issue a little more to see if I could trick him. Jay overheard me, and decided to join in.
“Oh yeah, we’re gonna be slammed on Sunday, and I have a complex menu all set up - we’ll need all the help we can get!”
Greg, the dishwasher heard Jay join in and added a beautiful stroke of his own, “Yeah, they’re paying us time and a half too since it’s a holiday! You should come!”
I had discussed this prank with nobody. It only said it as a joke that I figured would maybe trick him for a second at best, but the kitchen culture is such that everyone knows when to run with a prank. When someone is falling for it, don’t let them off the hook easy.
So Brian went out front to ask the floor manager, Anne, about working Sunday. He of course didn’t want to come in on Easter, but all the same, he wanted to see if this was really happening. Seeing as how I said nothing to Anne about this, I figured she would blow it when he came up to her and asked her about working on a day when we would be closed. However, Anne happens to be a seasoned pro when it comes to kitchen pranks. She figured out what was going on immediately.
“Wait, she volunteered me for what?…” |
“Yeah, I checked with your mom, and she said that you would be fine with working Easter for us.” (Brian’s mom, Jackie, works in the restaurant office.) Anne hit the prank in full stride and kept it alive in a way I never expected. And now Brian was upset that his mom had volunteered his time for Sunday.
But it was the next step where things became truly amazing. Brian called his mom and asked her why she volunteered him for Easter Sunday. This is when the joke really should have fallen apart right?… I mean Jackie had no idea we were making this story up, she knew full well we were closed on Sunday, and any mom would protect her son from a prank like this, right? The conversation apparently went something like this:
Brian: “Mom, why did you say I could work on Easter Sunday?”
Jackie: “You said you wanted to work more hours…”
She picked up on it in a heartbeat and placed the sweetest cherry on top of one of the finest practical jokes I had ever seen evolve. Brian was livid. He apparently was angry at his mom from that point on - a MOST unintended result to be sure - so I let him off the hook at this point.
“Wait, are you serious?” he asked, his eyes going as wide as I have ever seen them.
“Yes, for the first time I’m serious. We’re not open on Sunday man.”
Sorry Jackie! |
Brian looked at me, then Anne, and in the true spirit of one who has just realized they had been taken for a major ride he delivered the punch line that makes the entire effort worthwhile: “You guys are total douche bags.”
This prank continues to amaze me. The story grew to mythically large proportions completely on its own accord like Chicken Little’s fear of a falling sky. I could never have imagined everyone could keep something like that going for so long, and so well. I’m sorry to Jackie that I made her son mad at her - but she knew it was all a joke, so I am assuming all is well. (All the same, I am bringing her flowers today…)
But there is one problem with my having been the ringleader of a joke like this:
Today is my birthday.
And I’m “next”.
I’m gonna have to spend the whole night looking over my shoulder…
Matt
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04.03.07
Posted in The Story at 2:04 pm by Chef Matt
I am a night owl by nature. I don’t do mornings. And by “mornings” I mean “anything that goes on before 10AM.” So on the one hand, making the move to becoming a professional chef who works the dinner shift made a lot of sense for me. I would be working when I was actually awake for a change. But at the same time, all the nights when I usually like to hang out with friends would now be gone. The only free time that is now available to me is in the (gasp!) mornings.
I always felt more secure when they let the guys with automatic weaponry on the Metro. |
Along those lines, I found myself awake ridiculously early this morning. Even by “regular job” standards. I had to drive over to my parents’ house at 6AM, and I noticed that there were already cars piling up on I-66 for the morning rush hour. It blew my mind that people would get up this freaking early, only to get stuck in traffic. And then it dawned on me: The concept of “rush hour” is not a concern of mine anymore. I drive to work around 2 and I come home from work sometime after 11. If three cars happen to form a short line in front of me during my commute, I guess I can call that a traffic jam. My commute these days is nothing short of lovely. When the traffic report comes on the radio, I can change the station with true gusto and a clean conscience, since it no longer has anything to do with me.
But on the flip side of this, the rush hour world IS a concern for my wife, as she still works the regular 9-5 schedule. She is up around 7AM to go to work, and I am usually only barely awake when she goes, seeing as how it is still before The Price is Right comes on. But by the time she comes home around 6PM or so, I am already at work, feeding the masses. When I stumble home around 11PM, she is ready to go to bed, but I am still wide awake. In short, we catch only little glimpses of each other during the work week. Throw in the fact that I also work on Saturdays, and that can really mess up our scheduling a weekend away together…
For example, this weekend. A close group of our friends like to get together at my parents’ place in Bedford, PA regularly. You may remember this place from my Christmas post… Anyway, for all of them, the best days to be there were of course Saturday and Sunday. But for me, Sunday and Monday is all I can manage. So they were all up there having fun on Saturday while I stayed here in Falls Church, went to work, and then at 10:30 on Saturday night, I made the two hour drive up to Bedford to join them. A few brave souls managed to stay up for me when I rolled in around 1AM. I was of course wide awake, but most of them seemed really ready to go to bed.
Fortunately I was able to get up early the next day and make them all omelets and bacon.
I only had the chance to spend one day with most of these good friends of mine - where usually I would have had more like two and a half days. My choice of career change has created the one situation I hate more than anything else in the world: I am missing out on things.
Yeah, it’s creepy, but I just don’t want to miss out… |
I hate to be on the outside. If something is going on in my circle of friends, I want to be a part of it. The only thing worse than not being a part of a fun time, is to hear about it afterwards from those who were there. But hey, who do I have to blame this on but myself?
It is a real consideration that all you aspiring chefs need to consider. If you give up the 9-5 life, then yes, you do get to hang out in your underwear until noon (or later if you watch both episodes of Maury) and drive to work at a leisurely pace while wide awake and in the best mood you can be in. It is a great way to arrive at work - stress-free and having enjoyed some sunshine. But on the other hand, there are friends and family members that you are not going to see as often. My free nights are now Sunday and Monday, and I am here to tell you - there are not too many people who look to those nights for partying.
I can no longer be part of the fun group dinners my friends have on the great dining out nights, because I am now the person who cooks these meals for everyone else so they can enjoy these nights instead. This is a very serious consideration to take into account before you take the plunge:
Are you OK with becoming a stranger to many of your close friends?
A site you can only see when you’re not stuck in the AM rush hour. (Click to enlarge) |
All the same, I am glad I did it. In all fairness, this new schedule is not without its perks. The reason I was up so early today? I had a picnic breakfast on the tidal basin with my parents to see the sun rise over the cherry blossoms. I could never have done this back in the days of my 9-5 work schedule. In fact, my wife is the one who missed out since she had to get ready for work. But I’ll be sure to tell her all about it later tonight when we finally see each other before her bedtime.
Matt
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