12.25.08
My Own Bah Humbug
Well, it’s Christmas today, and I think that instead of some sappy post about getting together and having fun with family, I will take this chance to rant about something that annoys me. This much time with family means there is plenty that is already annoying me, so why not use this forum to vent? That, and it’s my blog, so I’ll do as I wish! So Merry F-ing Christmas!
Here’s what I hate: people who are afraid to have their house smell like someone was cooking in it. God forbid!! Oh my lord, next thing you know, guests will suddenly think that someone actually LIVES in the house! Holy cow!
 OK, I see SOME instances where you need to fire up the fan… |
A home is not a home until there is cooking involved. It’s just a house. It’s just a building. Go into a new home sometime and inhale deeply through your nose. Smell that? It’s called “nothing”. You have no connection to the place because none of your emotions have been inspired to connect with the place. And the first emotion that most of us make a connection with is good food with friends and family. (Hmmm… maybe I am getting sappy after all…)
When guests arrive at your house for the holidays, when you have been working on pies and cookies, and roasting a turkey, and simmering potatoes, what is the first thing they always say when they walk in the door? “MMMmmmm… smells so good in here!”
Not, “Hey, you want to turn on a fan in here? It smells like you’ve been cooking for God’s sake!”
So why the obsession with the exhaust fans people? Look, if you are making fish stock, or duck confit, or something else that generates a lot of smoke or potentially noxious odors, OK, I am with you. Setting off the smoke detector is not a goal. There are times when you need it. But the people who come running in as soon as a burner comes on and throw on the exhaust fan to full blast earn nothing but my ire.
Food may hold a more important place in my life than that of most other people - I understand that is part of being a passionate chef. But all the same, fear of any part of the food experience is a fear of food, simple as that.
 Enjoy your Christmas dinner - free of any flavors or smells that might offend anyone. Losers. |
I think it’s similar the concept of “killing cuisine” that we find in those people who want everything to be pasteurized and sterilized so that we don’t accidentally suffer from the side-effects of flavor remaining in anything we might consume. Those people can go enjoy their Christmas dinner at McDonald’s, Burger King or Taco Bell for all I care.
If you don’t want to actually experience your food, then you simply don’t deserve real food.
So as I’m cooking my roast, simmering my veg, roasting my squash and toasting my pinoli, please either enjoy all the wonderful smells this has to offer (as well as the great tastes later), or get the hell out of my kitchen. It may be Christmas, but that doesn’t mean you can’t piss me off.
Merry Christmas all!
Stumble it!
Yer' brother said,
January 4, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Hey! Leave the ‘Bell outta this! That’s hallowed gorund you are messing with there!
Otherwise, I agree that aversion to the smell of onions is toal BS!
Swan said,
January 5, 2009 at 5:59 pm
I’m with ya on that. In fact, I go so far to make my home smell like food even when I’m not cooking. Creamy nutmeg and vanilla sugar are my fave candle scents. Until, that is, the angels sigh and a bacon-scented candle becomes available.
Eize said,
January 8, 2009 at 4:59 am
That’s the weird thing I found out when I went to the US a few years ago. The fear of smells is what banned patis (fish sauce), bagoong (chunkier fish sauce) and tuyo (dried fish) from getting through US Customs. Granted, they all have really potent smells, but certain foods aren’t the same without them. In the case of tuyo, breakfast isn’t the same without them.